Suicide, Abuse, And Cultivation. Give Me Guidance

New user here!:)

Before I dive in to anything yet, I would like to fill in a little bit about myself. It's probably cliche. I am 19 years of age.

When I was a kid, I was always capable of seeing things and hearing things. My father shared similar senses too. Growing up I pushed away these senses. I don't know what I am, like am I clairvoyant? Medium? Or whatever it is. There was once I was able to communicate with my bestfriend through the mind. I could hear his thoughts and feel his feelings. And then it just blocked off completely, I couldn't do it anymore. Still can't whether I try or don't; but I never sought to improve or further my abilities anyway. I was afraid of displeasing God. I love God. Yes, I was born Christian.

Now to the juicy stuff.

In 2010, my parent, grandmother, and I; we moved into my uncle (my parent's younger brother) and his wife's place with him. Right off the bat I could already sense something was off. A few nights after moving in (I shared a bed with my lovely grandmother), I would hear footsteps in my room. It was carpet floor btw. I always try to reason with myself, but this time there was no real reason. It was footsteps in my room. It wasn't my grandmother. She was sleeping real nice and quiet next to me. What sucks is, I just had to on the bed in the most uncomfortable position while that thing walked around. I was paralyzed with fear.

In that home, I saw streaks of light, dark shadows, chills, and light wind out of nowhere near the AC. However, I wasn't just the house, it was the whole neighborhood. The whole area was... Just not cool at all. It was a hotspot or something. Terrible experience.

Time skip to 2015.

That year, it was my aunt and uncle's son 4th birthday. So naturally, they invite family over. My close cousins came, and my aunt's mother and father came along with her bros. I used to be well acquainted with my aunt's mother. Her mother would use to braid my long hair. When her mother walked in, I felt a shift in the whole atmosphere. It got heavier and very depressing. I could feel she ws just so sad. I saw around her mother, a dark presence. I was pissed about that, yeah, because the house already so many of them all around the walls and corners. However, my cousins finally came over in long time (they hate staying at the house I lived in bc it ws creepy to them), so I ignored it and had fun instead. Shortly after she came in, she grabbed my wrist and gently pulled me to her level (she was sitting), and told me how she missed braiding my hair. I nodded and touched her by the shoulder, and then it happened.

Touching her by the shoulder, time slowed down, everything ceased to exist for a split second.

I saw a black chalkboard, and on it, the words DEATH was being writtien loud and proud. Then I saw a dense woody area, and a rope. Then I came back to earth. Or reality.

I just shrugged it off because I just thought I was crazy.

2 days later, she hung herself in the woods near her farm.

The police were very creeped out. I'm not going to dwell into that... I already know... Don't ask what or how.

Since her death, things in the house went crazy. Aunty was bringing back malevolent spirits and she would dream that it was her mother, but I would see something else scary. She dreamed that her mother was sitting by her bed side, while my uncle who was on the computer saw a dark and ominous presence on the bed instead. He was awake. I saw that thing walk out of their room.

Those things were draining me day and night. I lost weight, turned pale, and just plain off looked sickly. Half dead. My peers were concerned.

I pushed away my ability even further.

Recently, someone of fame passed away from suicide. I was drawn to him a few months before he died. I was watching a few videos of him, and then a sinister little voice whispered into my ear, "He is going to die to soon."

I still didn't want anything to do with this ability. I pushed it away further. I denied that I had any "abilities".

Now I want to start cultivating these abilities and become experienced with them. I want to utilize it now. Why? Because my beloved one... He's not dead if ya'll wondering.

He's been ritualistically abused... Since around his adolescent years. His parents allowed it to happen to him. When I first saw him, I knew something was off. It creeped me out real bad. I avoided him. Then I got to know him better, and it went from there.

Whenever I look at him, I can literally hear a boy weeping. He seems to disassociate a lot too.

He's so talented, intelligent, and charming...

By touch, I was able to see (it was all blurry, but it was real) some of the horrific things that happened to him. I can also see a presence that follows him (it's sinister). Sometimes, he would disassociate and do things like a robot, like he was just blank.

He has mentioned to me before that, when he first saw me, he was repulsed by me because there is something about me that threatens something deep inside him. However, something inside him called out to come closer to me. And he did. He said to me that he knows that I know something is up, and I need to keep shut about it if I don't want anything bad to happen to either of us. He added that they're everywhere, and they've already got a lot of influence in their pockets. He does not know of my abilities btw.

I can still feel the 15 year old boy inside him screaming for help. The sobbings.

I want to to start cultivating these abilities to help him heal, and influence him to get the hell out of whatever is doing bad things to him.