The title of this story has a huge explanation behind it. But the story doesn't begin with me explaining about the title, no it starts with my memories. I can't explain how or why but I remember things from my child hood, and the memories are like clouded and shadowed. Some are even in black and white. I remember spending my whole life up until I was eight years old, going through the motions of life with one thought in my head... I'm not really alive, this is all a dream, I am not living, life doesn't exist.
There's one memory in particular that comes to mind, it's an out of body memory, if that's even a thing. I remember seeing myself being wheeled out of the hospital when I was seven or so, the world was in black and white, and I was staring at myself being pushed to the car by my mother, I had just been released after getting my tonsils taken out. For some reason I was standing in the parking lot looking at myself being pushed out of the hospital doors and towards me, and then right past me.
I've always been called an old soul, by the people around me. They say I'm far too intelligent then what I should be, and I can easily come up with answers to mostly everything, as if I could teach myself why life is the way it is. I have also recently been aware that I am an Empath. I feel the emotions of other people. Their emotions wash over me like waves, hint the title. I always feel like I'm being watched, and I just feel like there's something more I'm supposed to be apart of, something supernatural but beyond all I've been through.
I'm drawn to the moon, I can't sleep when it's a full moon and then when I do fall asleep I am easily awoken, which normally I am the opposite. I fall asleep early so I have at least eight hours of sleep, and even then it's not enough. But when the moons out I can sleep for twenty minutes and be fully awake and recharged for the next day.
Wolves have always been my favorite animals. I love all animals, a lot better then humans and they love me a lot better then most people. Especially dogs. Dogs have always been drawn to me as I have been drawn to them. Supernatural and paranormal stuff seem to be normal to me, and even though I carry out a semi normal life, I still believe that there's more to life then just living it.
I also can feel the emotional climate and even energies of my surroundings, and I hate large crowds because I feel everyone's mix emotions and it becomes to much for me. I seem to have a good read on people from the minute I walk by them and look at them clearly. And I'm drawn to nature and plants, mostly trees though. I also have recently been able to see trees in great detail from far away. Like I can not see anything but plants and trees in great detail from about a mile away. I could see every single leaf on a tree. My world has gotten brighter, and I have a photographic memory.
I have strange and vivid dreams that normally would just be a nightmare to anyone else but to myself I can almost always tell that there's a hidden meaning behind it and normally the dream either comes true or I will keep dreaming it until it comes true.
My grandma on my dads side of the family who lives in New York had also told me that I come from a family with empathic abilities. She told me the more I'm aware of it, and the more I accept it as mine, the stronger it gets. She says that only females in the family have gotten this ability, and that for her it had gotten so strong, she could read her loved ones minds. I have yet to discover anymore abilities like her, but I'm only 16, and I have a lot of life a head of me, that will definitely consist of a lot more supernatural experiences I can tell.
As for the wave of emotions that sometimes almost has me drowning, I'm trying to learn how to control it so I don't let it control me. I don't know if any of this means anything, but I would really like some answers if any of you can tell me why I have those memories, or anything else involving this story, I would gladly appreciate it! Also, I'll keep you all updated just incase I learn more.
There's always more to the story I guess you can say.
Loading comments....
I think it's because the feeling of my childhood is unreachable. And I think that may be your problem, too. You can't reach the feeling of your childhood. That's why it's cloudy or only black and white. Because you can only remember the superficial details of your childhood memories, not the emotions that went with them.
It goes along with you being an old soul. You've become too emotionally old to be able to relate to the emotions of your childhood. I have too, though it took me a lot longer.
And you being an empath would mean you'd tend to see your emotions somewhat, or imagine them, and it sounds like you have a strong imagination and probably tend to visualize things. I'm guessing there's always a picture in your head, and my guess is that sometimes that pictures overrides reality as created by your five senses.
Just a guess, but at any rate I'd say it's a sign you're highly intuitive and spiritual.
I hope that helps some.