When I First Realized I Could Be A Medium

When I was a young girl, one night I was dreaming that I was in a church. There was a coffin at the foot of the altar which was partially open. I was walking down the center aisle, getting closer to the coffin and straining on my tip toes to see who was in it. The closer I got to it, I would be back at the far end of the aisle again repeating my steps towards it. The dream just would not allow me to see who was in that coffin.

Then the telephone rang and woke me up. I looked at the clock and it was around 4am. A few minutes later my mother came into my bedroom crying. Her best friend had just died in a horrible car accident. I was probably around 8 or 10 years old at the time. I was astonished at what happened, but my mom was too upset for me to bother trying to tell her about the dream. I never forgot about this incident.

Many years went by. When I was in my early thirties I started practicing transcendental meditation. I was very interested in Hinduism and started going to a local temple. I met a guru there who invited me to his Ashram. Once under the guru's guidance, I made much more progress with my meditation and personal growth. One afternoon I was at the Hindu temple, meditating and participating in a puja (religious ceremony which involves offerings to the deities). All of a sudden I felt myself leaving my body and it was like I was inside the mind of the priest who was performing the Siva puja. I could see through his eyes, his hands moving and pouring the saffron milk over the Siva linga. Then the next moment, I was back in my own body. It was a very strange experience. After leaving the temple, I decided to try and explain to my partner at the time what had just happened. I found it so difficult to put into words what I just experienced. The only thing I found that I could say, was that the priest's time here was up. I felt he had fulfilled his purpose and his soul felt like it was already transitioning to another realm. A few days later, that priest was killed in a car accident.

At that point, I got pretty freaked out. Why was I shown this I wondered. What good was it anyway? Was I supposed to have warned him? If I had warned him, he may have just thought I was crazy. Perhaps it was his time to go no matter if I had warned him or not anyway. After this incident I became wary of all that was happening and I slowed down on the meditation. I stopped going to the guru because he was a close friend of the priest and I just didn't feel comfortable telling him for fear that the entire community at the temple might think I was some kind of a freak. I was afraid to tell anyone else about this. I thought, well alright, I guess I really am psychic. However, without a teacher who could help me learn what to do with these powers of foresight I decided I didn't want anything to do with it anymore. I also felt like I was too busy in my work life and personal life to pursue it so I really fell off the wagon with my spiritual progress after that.

A few years later, I decided to get a past life regression with a reputable psychic who was recommended to me by a friend. It was quite an interesting experience. It was as though for each lifetime I was shown, I saw it through my own eyes as that person in that lifetime. The psychic was basically the guide helping to carry me through the journey. I had a wonderful session with her and she had a very good vibe. Problem is, a few days later, I started to have visions and hear a name in my head. The visions were very disturbing. It was a young girl. She was being abused and sexually assaulted. Then killed. I only got the visions in short bursts spontaneously while I was going about my daily routine. It was very disturbing and distracting. I kept hearing a name over and over again. Finally, I decided to call the psychic who I had just had the past life regression with. She sounded troubled and shocked when I told her the name I was hearing. This was the name of a child who had been kidnapped, raped, and murdered many years prior. This particular psychic had helped police to find the body of the little girl. So apparently, I had siphoned this information out of her psyche while we were connected. She told me I shouldn't worry about it, but that it probably meant that I had the gift as well. She offered to hook me up with someone who I could take lessons from, but at that time I was about to move to another city so I declined. Plus, once again, I just didn't know if I was really ready for this or if this is the path I wanted to take at that time.

Perhaps someday, if the place and time is right, and I meet the right person/people, I will delve into what I should be using these abilities for. Meanwhile, I do sometimes worry that I just need to find a teacher ASAP because I may have a power I don't know how to control and could possibly attract the wrong energy with it (a story on that topic to come next).