Not Love At First Sight Love Before Sight

I at the time was 24 years old. And to be honest I was wandering if I was having a telepathic moment, or honestly I wasn't sure I didn't really know

I know I have psychic abilities and I do practice them but this was something I had never heard of so I wasn't sure what to think of it so mostly I just kind of went with it for a certain amount of years just to see what would happen and sort of I guess you could say experiment with myself to learn what this ability was what it meant what did it do

All the while I was wondering if I was spiritually connected or telepathically connected and speaking with someone but was not certain if so. But I kept an open mind for either way whether I was or was not

I guess around 27 is where I was beginning to wonder if I was crazy if maybe if I'm honest a little bit of the hell I've gone through if I had just completely snapped

If my soul felt to lonely if I needed some one to talk to... Was this just my mind tapping into an energy of the person I wills one day be with but they are not here yet but I need them so my brain has snapped and tapped into an energy of that person to keep me from really snapping maybe keep me from committing suicide

I can say I have reached the end of this road this person is now in my life I can't say it was telepathic though as clearly it was not I can say that moment in time where I wondered if it was though did do good for me but all the same I'm still not certain why it happened what purpose did it really serve. I'm sure God has a reason for things he does even if it confuses us maybe it was to help me be open to love into my life as I was pretty too damn content. So much so I believe I really didn't understand to be open to have someone in my life. I wanted someone in my life yes but I was too content and I don't think my family properly taught me how to accept someone into my life

I think I was waiting for someone for god to plop in my lap that a miracle would happen and poof I would have a Prince Charming

I had a vision of some one a long time ago when I was 18 and just thought god would bring them to me

So after this many years and now feeling like some one was telepathically talking to me but they never seemed to show up in my life I felt like maybe god forgot me... I cried more than I wanted to it was honestly painful

Mostly cause I was s good girl compassionate (honestly I'm empathic so to not feel with others is nearly impossible for me) honestly I seemed like something men wanted until they heard I wanted to wait until I was merried... Then men pretended I did not exist and not even polite about it they would even walk away right there in the conversation sometimes.

And I was in church so I was to stupid to know why at the time... But this became clear and I would not budge wanting to wait until marriage as I had seen. Too many women used and hurt while I went to church and I think the way that men would walk away when I said I want to wait until I was married showed all the more what kind of men you can find in church their not men at all they're, well to be honest (the sight sight won't let me sware. So the A word)

So with my vision of a man not come yet and then the feeling like I'm connected to a man I havnt met yet and with no man seeming to want me ever. My heart was breaking broken and I felt doubt in ways I had never felt before

I doubted god I thought he had forgotten me I thought no one would ever really love me. It's a terrible feeling like everything is broken inside your not whole and you'll never be wanted

Still I was testing this new found ability seeing what it meant and what it did and tried to want to live believe this person was real even if it wasn't telepathic but this person was still out there and I could feel them - I. Kept tiny notes of things about this person things I could feel like their personality body marking yes I felt a tattoo blue eyes. You get it I kept little notes on this new found ability as my own personal science project

Keeping notes like

Telepathy did not make sense as most of the time you need an emotional connection. How can that be if I don't know him so I can't be emotionally connected to him

Spiritual connection maybe my soul was connected to him

Crazy maybe I'm crazy

So after keeping notes on myself notes on what I felt about this person the day finally came... Year 2016 I think I was pretty much giving god the F you and was like screw it I can't be hurt lonely no more I'm putting out an effort. All the slike was scared and prayed first and felt like god told me just live stop worrying if your making the right decision some times life is about just going for it and knowing things will turn out fine

Well took me s bit as my feeling alive and daring moment was to join a dating website which growing up Christian was pretty much told stay away from it and they talk about it like it's Satan. But I no longer go to church at the time I still was but if I pray and feel god says something and it sounds reasonable I go for it (so far this has never failed me. Though no I'm. Not listening to voices I'm listening to what I feel inside at that moment. So call it god my guy the universe love light I don't really. Mind it's all the same to me I just call. Them god)

Well after praying I was still very nervous so I made my first New Year's resolution and pretty much decided from there if Prince Charming does not show up before 2016 I will just go for it in 2016 I will join the dating website I will take my life into my own hands and see where it goes from there

Well 2016 came I waited about three days and then I joined a dating website then I joined another cause I didn't like the one I had joined then I joined another because I didn't like that one either I guess third time really is the charm as that one seems pretty nice and I stayed on it

When I was on there I message some men and only one message me back which I became very nice pen pals with, no this was not the one but he was nice pen pal

And my luck it was a British guy it's very odd I have no luck with American men yet the Brits seem to like me. Just like me though none of them them were actually willing to date me

One said he would want to date me but as usual found out I wanted to wait until I was married and all of a sudden did not want to date me at all in fact he sent a very kind message saying he would never pretend I didn't exist and then the next day hooked up with another girl and unfriended me and pretended I did not exist how's that for a way to try to rip your heart to pieces and feel the pain.

It just seems to have only been Brits that gave me attention very strange very strange indeed as I am really not phased by their accent as most women are but I am unfazed by any accident to me they're just another person.

But still t that dating website paid off I mean at first I had some really weird weird weird weird some very creepy guys message me that I had to block but the dating website did indeed pay off as I got a message from a very shy man at the time that said can we talk I thought this was kind of adorable and in funny way as I said yeah sure and pretty much we just started talking from there and things moved pretty quickly in fact if I wasn't such a let's take it slow kind of person it would have moved even faster but this sweet man did not run from me when I said I want to wait until I was married in fact he was perfectly fine with that and I am a practicing psychic and empath and I grew up in church I no longer go to church but I still have a belief in God yet this does not seem to bother him and he's an atheist but he does tell me he felt so lonely he actually did pray to God himself and that's when he found me so he believes in God and really believe God brought us together so this is my one and I was very open with him I did speak of my experience that I was pretty much being my own science project and trying to see what this was if it was telepathy and you know after discussing it with him it was very clear to me that this was the guy I was waiting for but there was definitely no telepathy. Though it is odd we really do seem to have some sort of connection

And even if I'm still not sure what that was that happen to me to feel someone's soul with such depth I do know it made open and no longer just content I do know it gave me the push I needed... Which was probably a good thing as if I had never joined that dating website he would have never found me we both would have probably been alone for ever as the odd thing is neither of us had any luck not ever dated both of us still virgins... My reasons are clear I don't want to be used he just didn't feel right if he didn't love a woman to do that

And well I'm glad I kept those notes. As the things I felt did match up. Turns out he has a tattoo on his back right where I felt one he has those blue eyes among other things like he only had one brother he has no other sibling these and many other. Things I kept a note of

The odd part I had no idea it was the man I was waiting for only until later did I notice all the details like the brother. And the tattoo and o did not expect to fall in love but hey I did and when you find the one your waiting for and they find you you both just know in the right timing

So I don't know what all that moment was about maybe it's just a strong spiritual connection maybe I'll never fully know. But I do know it helped me I do know it helped guide me in a big way

So all in all I may not fully understand it but I know it served its purpose.

Again my luck it was a British man that caught my heart.

I mostly wanted to write this cause I have seen two others on this sight post how they spirituality talk to someone they never ment

I didn't share my experience even though it's similar to theirs because I was still testing and seeing what it was what would happen and I'm glad I did. Though hope those two young ladies get to read this and realize there is an end to the road. They will find their prince charming.

Just please take in the lessons I have come to learn. One he may not look like what you think (the appearance you know maybe from a past life so that appearance is familiar to your soul but it dose not mean he will look like this in this life) also live a little date if you want maybe even join a dating website or wait until you feel ready but the moment you find your prince will be when your living your life without worry when he will come wandering who he will be so just live life he will come when he's supposed to in your life.

Also your not crazy. Maybe s little emotionally overwhelmed wanting the person that's not there yet and even if it's not telapathic your still not crazy it's just s deep connection with that person that shows you what their like... What to expect but trust me there will be so much more you could not expect, in a good way not a bad wsy... We can't expect everything even for psychics life is ment to be live and learned.

When I found. My one I found myself growing up in s way I didn't expect as I'm sure you will too.

So for whoever reads this if you've ever read about or heard anything like it please leave a comment I would love to hear it maybe give better understanding to this all as its still a little strange to me even if I found it useful. I study as much as I can and have not come acrosed Any thing like this.

And for the two other ladies. If you get to read this please just live your life it makes the wait easier and more fun and also I would want you so much to know your not crazy just sort of keep notes keep track of what you intuituvly pick up on in your connection it will probably be very helpful to you one day.

Well thank you to all who read I hope you have a good day afternoon evening whatever time it is. Be blessed.

And I hope I was not to. Confusing as I was trying to write down five year of experiencing this and keep it short as possible.

As for the connection my. Boyfriend and I have I forgot to. Mention that. If I'm crying it's like he feels it and can't sleep and end up messaging me every time. Pretty sure we can feel the other thinking of the other among other things... And this one is just plane hilarious, we usually have to use the bathroom at the same time. I know how special we have to pee (laughing really hard) we though are both learning from each other and growing in a well very beautiful way.

Yeah well I guise this is it may everyone be blessed and forgive me I am diagnosed with a. D. H. D. I hope others reading will be able to keep up.