Visions Of My Future

Since I was 15 years old I have had visions of my future. These visions have nearly always been non-descript; a place, strangers, events. I do not always remember the vision until it happens and then it's like, "Oh wait, I've seen this already." Sometimes I do remember them. I've been able to use it to my benefit only once. I'd had a vision that my parents and one of my sisters were down for a visit. They were driving a white car. (They did not own a white car.) We had all just arrived at my place after dining out. They parked on the street and we all got out and headed down the sidewalk and into my yard. A stranger was walking down the street and he pulled out a gun just as the others stepped into my yard. I ordered them all to get inside the house. My sister lagged behind and I ordered her up the stairs and into the house. By now my parents were inside and my sister on the front porch. I turned to face the stranger and that's when he shot me in the thigh. I woke still feeling the bullet burrowing into me. Around the holidays, my parents came down, they rented a car. The car was white. My sister came along with them. They insisted on taking me out to dinner. When we returned they parked in the same spot as in my vision. Once we'd all stepped out of the car, I insisted everyone get into the house right away, rushing them. Once inside, I stopped by the window and looked out. I saw the stranger in my vision walking by the house.

I have always thought of these visions as landmarks. A sign that I was on the right path. About two years ago, I started having visions all related to the death of my husband. In this vision, I witness the event that causes his death. In this vision, We are helping someone move. I am driving his truck. There are three others in the truck with me. We are headed back to my house when I see the U-Haul he is driving stop suddenly and bump the car in front of him. He is driving away from our house. I quickly pull over and we get out of the truck as he and a friend of ours gets out of the U-Haul. He sees me from across the 6 lane street and begins to cross. I look down the street, I know where I am; it is only a few blocks from the house. I see a car turning in his direction from a side street. I look back at him to warn him, but I am too late. The car strikes him and continues down the road. The next this I see is our house. I am crying uncontrollably as I run into the house. The house is empty. I run up the stairs, through the bedroom, into the bathroom and into the shower. The farthest point from front door. I collapse and continue to cry. For some time I struggled with what to do with this information. I have tried to find a way around it, tried to find a way to avoid it. But I keep coming back to the thought that if it his time then nothing I do will stop it. He has since learned about this vision, but takes my visions with a grain of salt, so it doesn't seem to affect him.

Recently we decided it was time for US to move. The empty house made sense now. I realize now that it was a vision of our move. To get to the area we have decided to move you have to drive the same path I was driving to get back home. I have had other visions that all support this. He knows of the vision and does not take it seriously. I do not know what to do. I have now started to see a life without him and it hurts me. Sometimes I feel like I am in mourning already.