As a child I had a very strong psychic ability. My earliest psychic memory, when I was around the age of 4, is of waking up in the middle of the night in my bedroom that I shared with my 3 year old sister, it was early hours of the morning and all the lights were off but my room had a strange lighting to it, almost a redish colour. I climbed out of bed and tried to wake up my sister but she carried on sleeping, I went over to the window, which was only a few steps from my bed, looking for the source of the glow in my room. I wasn't tall enough to properly open them so I peered underneath and there was a boy pressed against my window. His skin was so white and his eyes were glazed over, he wasn't looking down at me, he was just staring through the window at the middle of the curtain. I was terrified, I ran back into my bed and was screaming for my parents, they didn't come and my sister wouldn't wake up. I don't remember anything else about that night, when I told my mother in the morning she said I must have dreamt it, my room was 3 floors up so nobody could have been outside of it.
The boy came back to the window regularly after that, always the same, some nights I braved looking again, and other nights I hid under my duvet.
Moving forward a couple of years, I hadn't seen him in months, I would often see 'shadow people', I don't know if that's the correct term for them, but there would be silhouettes moving across the wall, and I feel the presence of them all the time, but when I'd point them out to my sister she couldn't see them. My mother began shouting at me about talking about them, she said that I would be bullied at school or taken away if I told people, so I stopped talking about them, until, for the first time in months the boy came back to my window, I put my hand on the window and had an experience that's difficult to explain. I went from being stood in my bedroom to being next to a tree, but it didn't feel real, almost as if I was half in my consciousness and half in his, the boy from my window was sat under the tree reading and a group of boys came and started throwing rocks at him, name calling and bullying, I screamed at them to stop but none of them looked at me. Then it went dark and the boys were gone, the boy from the window was sat in the tree with rope, he proceeded to hang himself. I won't go into detail about that. My mother woke me up from the bedroom floor under my window. I told her about it and she cried.
My nan sat me down and explained to me that when I was baby, there were lots of strange things happening as soon as I was born, like little lights moving around my room, my mother would hear footsteps in my room early hours of the morning and went she went in my room would always be freezing, she said the vicar from our local church had come over and blessed me and then we had moved house when my sister was born and the problems had lessened, but from the age of 2 I would sit in the living room and stare at the corner, which caused me to be diagnosed with a form of depression that affects infants.
When I was 7, only a matter of months after the incident at the window, mum brought a lady to the house, her name was edie, I don't remember much about her except that she very old and had candy pink lipstick. She told me that she had come to stop me from having to be scared, I didn't understand what was going on, she spoke to me about being a very strong 'portal' and that she had to close me off to protect me. I don't really understand what she did and I wish I could tell you more about it. All I know is after she left I couldn't see the shadow people anymore, I never saw the boy again.
I have felt empty since then, I battle with depression often and feel like I'm trapped inside myself. It's difficult to explain the frustration of having the loss of my ability forced on me, I have contacted many psychics over the years looking for a way to be opened again without putting myself or anybody else in danger, but it seems that most psychics seem to be just making money reading off script's and genuine psychics are hard to come by, I've often been told to try and open myself up with a board, but i'm too scared to use an Ouija board. Any genuine advice would be truly appreciated. I'm 20 years old now and still deeply feel the loss of their presence, as while they were there I had never had to experience the feeling of loneliness.