I didn't always know that I could see spirits. My mom always knew so she would try to shelter me from it by not telling me when someone I know had died. That way when I saw them I wouldn't be scared, but as I got older and I noticed something was off. I would see someone and they'd disappear, or I'd see someone as clear as day and then when I got closer they'd be someone totally different and sometimes I'd be at home and see people who shouldn't be in the house. By this time it didn't scare me because I was old enough to know better.
When I started going out with friends more I realized that seeing spirits wasn't normal and that scared me. Why could I do something that not everyone else could do? After awhile when I was around 15 I started to get comfortable with it again, but now I have no idea how to communicate with them. It was so much easier when I didn't understand.
Now, I don't want to see them anymore. I wish I didn't have to. Yesterday, the most terrible thing happened to me. This guy I had met a couple of times died and for some reason beyond my understanding I was able to see him and I'm fine with that. What really bothers me is how scared he was, every time I close my eyes I see his face. I see all the fear in his eyes. I can't talk about it without crying because for the first time I feel like I've failed. There he was scared out of his mind and I didn't know what to do. How can you tell someone it'll be ok if you don't know? How can you tell someone that they'll be alright when all you can think about are their younger siblings and their mother?
I've never experienced anything like this and I don't ever want to again. How do you make it stop? How do I make the feeling go away?
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