Rituals And Clairvoyance. Where Did I Go Wrong?

I am 23 year old female. I'm currently at a stand still in my life. Or as I like to a call it "mid-life crisis from a 20yr olds point of view". I somewhat know what I want to do with my life career wise, it's just a lack of motivation that has been weighing me down for quite some time now. About 5yrs ago, I started reading about spirituality. At the time I was not a very spiritual person. I began reading about rituals & how they could change your life. I was young & passive, so I assumed that if I did a ritual asking the universe for materialistic things, that I would receive. I was totally wrong & also wrong about the entire practice of rituals. My rituals would include me writing on a sheet of paper what I felt I needed from the universe at the time. At first it was materialistic items, then I began asking for guidance. I then would sign my name with my blood & burn the paper in a candle dish while mediating afterwards. Again, I had no idea what I was doing. But I believe that something was happening. Ever since then, I've had prophetic dreams. When I first started doing the rituals it was somewhat overwhelming because I would have a dream about something happening, & the next day or two later this same exact event I dreamed about actually happened! Or I would dream of old friends I haven't seen in awhile, then the next day or two i'll see this person. It's been about 3 years since I last did a ritual. The dreams aren't necessarily the same but I do sometimes have some that kind of scare me. I will have dreams of people passing, but in real life it ends up being someone related to the person I dreamed of dying. It can be disturbing because sometimes it's people I care about. But I don't have dreams as often now as I did when I first starting doing the rituals. Now, it's usually something random. Like the other night I randomly had a dream about wearing swimming goggles & the next day I was in the store looking for something that ended up being next to a pair of googles.

As of lately, I have just been praying for guidance. I am a shy person & I feel as though it is holding me back from doing what it is I need/want to do in life. & I feel like doing those rituals kind of backfired & has made life become stagnant. I can't explain it. I just feel so different from everyone else. I haven't ever told anyone about the dreams I have because I don't want to freak people out. Is there any advice anyone can give me? I feel as though I just need guidance with this "gift" that I have. I just feel completely lost in life, yet I have somewhat been blessed with the ability of clairvoyant. I know if I were to tell anyone around me about this they would literally think I'm crazy. I'm hoping that someone on this site will be able to come across my post & be willing to help. Thank you so much in advance for all that reply!:)