I'm 19 years old, and this is my first time writing something like this because I a, now in a difficult situation and some help I think could be really good. But first I will tell my story.
When I was 8 years old my father died, it was at the beginning not so difficult for me but some weeks later it has started: I began to have some strange dreams of actions from different person in different years and o started to have insomnia
Only was dreams so it was nothing special for me, but in later age I noticed that when I think that I had feeling for some girls it was not for the real ones, it was for someone I knew but not remember. I asked my mom about girls of my past but never she told me about girl I was searching.
Now I know she was my woman of a past life, and the emotions of my past life makes me difficult to have new ones.
With 12 I had my first real vision of my past life: I was riding my bicycle to school, when it started. I saw everything from the eyes of an adult man, the feeling of being me but at the same time another person for the first time is something I never will forget. The scene only showed the the hand of the man going trough my/ his face then I saw the hand full of blood I don't know if it was my or form another person. Then I felt from the bike, after that day I started to have more visions.
More and more I started to understand about the fact that I had past life's, yes not only one. I started to understand too that the persons in this time see people with strange psychic powers or experiences like crazy one or someone with some mental disorder. With this knowledge I never told no one about this, neither my mom or someone of my family. In the same time I moved from Germany to Spain.
My life which already was strange started to be more and more difficult because Spanish and German are languages which don't have a lot of similarity.
But after the problems in learning Spanish my life was in a good course, I started to have less visions and less dreams. I made a lot of friends and I had girlfriends, but they never last long because of the feeling that she is not the real one.
Love was not the only feeling which I had from my past life there was the anger to every person I saw, this feeling came from the dead of my (past life) woman. I know that she died because of the executions of the witch-hunts. The feeling that the humans which I helped in this past life done something like this made me an anger of humanity in my past life.
I know that this feelings are not mine and after realizing that it still hurts having them.
With 17 years I have started too feel persons or things but when I watched around there was nothing special. In internet, I don't use very often for these things, I found that persons with special abilities often can have more.
In the same year it started to getting worse: after memories and feelings from my past life, I started to have the pain of my pat life, the first time it was the feeling of my hand was cut off, I stared at my hand and I saw her then I fainted.
After this I started to tell the hole story my mum, and to understand that the pain was only a half or less from the real pain of the moment.
My mum told me that she already knew that I will be different because my father has the ability or skill (I don't know how to call this) to see the future and on her family site there was people with special skills too.
With the pain I started to sense more and more shapes of people who was not there and hear them.
Because of all the stress coming from the pain and these shapes, I begun to have migraine. In school was this the worst and in my social life started to be bad too.
In summer when I turned 18 years, my mum told me to go with her to her homeland in Brasilia to speak with her family and to learn to control the pain.
They showed me there other people with the same type of problem and their was people who helped me with pain, they explained me the religion gave them power and courage to control their skills. For me who has memories of his past life's and in some I killed for the religion it is difficult to have faith.
I don't learned how to control the pain and the vision of these human shapes (I suppose there are ghost) but their had taken the pain from me this in the last year was a great help.
Now I'm 19, its another summer I still have sometimes the feelings, visions and pain of my past life, I still sense, hear and sometimes see shes of humans but I still don't know hoe to control all this. I know I have to help other people with these skills but I can't help others without helping myself.
Thank you for reading my story and sorry for my bad English, I am still learning.
I hope someone can tell some good advices too learn or other things which will help.
All the ones who say with meditation I learn something in my case the answer is no, it only gives me more visions of the past which I already saw.
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