Not In This Life Time

I'm trying to sort this out and I was hoping to get some insight. I'm not sure if its something that I have some how created in my own mind or if its ACTUALLY real.

I felt a connection with someone like a soul-mate connection. I had a 100% assurance feeling that in the end we would cross paths and we would end up together. I knew of him but we never actually met. The strange thing is that I never stressed, obsessed, or pushed anything because I felt that strong assurance and I knew when it was time "we" would happen. I was out at the store and out of no where he came to mind.

I thought of him and it caught me by surprise.

Later on that evening I received the news that he had died in a car accident at 3:30 pm. A few days later I dreamed he was dressed in a black suit and was standing at my bedroom door and I wouldn't let him in... I kept putting my head down and telling him Not to come in.

Weeks later my cousin called me and told me she dreamed that we were at a park and that he just showed up. She never met him and had seen him only once as he was driving out of the the gas station. She said that in her dream she was aware that he had passed and was surprised to see him. She then thought, "Oh he came to say good-bye" He began talking only to me as If she wasn't there. She couldn't hear our conversation at all even though she was sitting next to me. She could only see that We were talking, laughing, and smiling and she said we both looked happy. She described what he was wearing (t-shirt, jeans & black converse) and it shocked me because the only time she had seen him was when she was visiting from out of state and he was driving out of the gas station.

I have been to a store, doing something, etc and he just "pops" into my mind and then I'll see his name, last name, etc and then I'm like, what the heck?

My last dream of him he was wearing the black suit and I had introduced him to a group of people as my husband, someone told him about my child hood and he hung his head and I felt the sadness.

It has been 13 and a half months since he passed away and it doesn't get better for me even though I try to brush it off. I feel as though I lost a part of me and I don't quite understand all of this. I put it off as, "It's just a coincidence" Or "It's all in my mind" Does it even mean anything?