Please read my story here http://www.psychic-experiences.com/real-psychic-story.php?story=11071.
I want to develop it by myself because where I go to study, they say it will take a lot of time (maybe a couple years) and I don't want to wait for so long.
If you feel some energy from this post, please let me know, I want to make sure I'm really a channeler. Sometimes I just want to end with my life for no reason, I see images of me killing myself with knife, I growl, the anger that I feel, I sense all my body nerves (is that intense).
The place I go (umbanda), they don't let me know anything, they just say
I'm medium and that I have open body. I want to develop my channeler skill to help people, when I was young I used to speak with god inside my head, I couldn't pay attention to the class at school. I used to feel the warmth of the angel touching me (I used to almost cried of time, the feeling was amazing, like being in peace place like heaven). The voices used to say: "you need to help people!" (something like that).
My goal is to help people for free, not like job, more like charity, I know I have big karma to pay in this life.
I'm diagnosed as schizophrenic and take pills (10 a day), but everywhere I go they say I'm medium. I'm really confuse, please if you are a medium or psychic, can you see if I'm medium?
I really don't know what to do anymore, please read my story in the link so you can understand better my situation and why I'm so desperate.
Thanks all for everything.
Some of the energy shows too much going and
Being over whelmed by
Spirit influences, with attachments and an area
You MUST be able to work in releasing Spirit attachments and identify sub-personality of your self.
The schizophrenia means you have cracks in your
Aura. You are like a house with the front door open.
Only a discipline and knowledge or rituals with teaching can keep
You free, grounded as a Channeller, you must have the knowledge, or you will allow the dark to over power you and hurt yourself.
Do not worry, in time you will be where you need to be. You will need to be open to donations as this will
Take off, if you learn these things.