I go by Dekka, and I am eighteen years of age. The past few months have been crazy for me. Around seven months ago my father passed away, and I knew he was going to die the morning of the day that he did. I need some help, preferable someone to talk to or someone to help me understand how do deal with the things I sense and feel. Before he passed away I got sick, flu like symptoms. Cough, headache, general aches etc. This happened two weeks before he was hospitalized and then he passed away and everything went away. Now the problem is my grandmother. She is very ill and she is "moving on" as people have called it. I feel the same sickness. This has happened before too.
A few days ago I had a massive panic attack, and it turns out that at the same time there has been a very big accident that claimed the lives of many people. I have had dreams that come true in one way or the other, and I can tell how people are feeling without them necessarily telling me. This anxiety and panic is eating me up inside and I feel so sick, and I have been to the doctor and it's always "nothing wrong". I feel sick and depressed and empty. I have been crying for the past five days pretty much without any known reason and everything is sore and tight. I just feel so alone and empty.
I have had dreams of my father before, and none of them were great as I did not have a great relationship with him. The morning of the day that my father passed away I woke up in panic, with sort of a white noise blaring in my ears. I couldn't breathe, and I felt like something was choking me. Turns out it was sort of like sleep paralysis because I could feel myself trying to fight it off (whatever was choking me) but in reality I was actually lying in bed, and I haven't moved an inch. But I woke up shaking and sweating and I just felt like today was not going to be a good day. He passed away eight hours later. I have always had that thing where I just know things. Sometimes they are small things, like the pizza guy pulling up to the house, or what the outcome of a certain even with my friends may be. I can sense energy sometimes too, such as how a person feels or whether I can trust them or not. Has anyone else felt this way or anything remotely similar? I don't really have any more stories but I would really love if someone could talk about it.
I read how others with empathic abilities shield themselves mentally, with all the different colors of the rainbow and then white outside all the different colors, as a energy shield for protection. So I sat and imagined exactly this to protect me from these emotions that where over whelming me. After doing this I finally went out side and it worked. A couple of times I could start to feel things and mentally would imagine this protection shield become bigger and stronger and the feelings would subside. Thank God it worked cause I have been living a hermit's life for over a year now. So give it a try.
As well, other things seem to be going on and actually started effecting my children, my husband and even my dog. From things falling off counters while all of us watched from 3 feet away, to unseen forces that the dog was having a fit over, to all of my family having discomfort sleeping/nightmares at the same exact time after I had been awakened. I think whether we acknowledge our gifts or not we attract forces good & bad. So I, being a Christian woman, placed all our bibles in our bedrooms opening each one to Psalms 91. I read it out loud and put a glass of water next to it. After one night, I removed each glass and as I poured them out I said aloud, "as I pour I rid all evil and command it be gone." This was all thanks to a wonderful friend's wisdom and it worked perfectly. So maybe these things could help you, at least I hope so. Regardless the grief that others fill as well as your own can be confusing because I could not seem to feel the difference between mine and my sister's emotions, until it was too late. I would suggest taking time by your self to release. Cry, Scream, or anything else you need to do to get it out. Then when the time comes to deal with others sit down and shield yourself. At least then you won't act on others' emotions and make bad chooses like I did. I hope that this will help you and maybe keep you from making the same mistakes I did. I am truly sorry for your lose and pray for comfort for you and your family.