I think I may be losing my abilities.
As mentioned in one of my previous stories, I used to move smoke quite easily with just a gesture and a thought. This came automatically, and while it was nothing special, I still found it very exciting. I was also moving tinfoil balanced on a needle, as one of the sites suggested I try.
The biggest thing to happen to me telekinesis-wise (and the one that at the time really convinced me) was in P.E. Class. We were playing tennis, and I'd hit the ball at a terrible angle, resulting in it flying into the court next to ours.
I ran over to fetch it, apologizing. The man there just smiled and hit the ball back to me.
And it flew straight for my face.
I was very close to him, and in that way had no time to react. The best I could do was close my eyes and turn my head to the side.
When I didn't feel the ball hit me, I opened my eyes. Both the man and my friend were staring at me. According to my friend, when I'd turned my head, the ball had actually swerved.
I also received precognitions on a regular basis, and although I couldn't summon them, they were pretty reliable. I often knew who was calling, or what was going to happen. This went similarly with sensing spirits (I wasn't a true medium, but perhaps I could have been).
That was two years ago. After that, my interest in all things psychic kind of took a back seat. I didn't meditate, I quit being a vegetarian, and I stopped working with my abilities.
About a month ago, my interest was renewed when I read about psi balls. I obsessed over creating these for a while. At first, everything seemed to be going well. I could create them quickly with minimal effort, change the temperature and I was working on changing the size. But now... It's a struggle for me to even create it, never mind altering the temperature like I used to.
What's going on? It's like when I first start working with something, everything goes well, but then it just kind of stops working. I know my negligence to practice definitely plays a part in it, but that can't be the sole reason, as I was doing none of that stuff when I first started creating psi balls.
According to the test on this site, I have more or less no telekinetic ability. The tinfoil has also stopped moving for me.
It's a little worrisome. Even my precognitions are affected; I'm wrong more often than I'm right!
The only thing that even relatively made me feel like I was getting somewhere was a spirit encounter just a couple days ago, but I only noticed because of the smell, not my previously-possessed inner spirit radar.
I'm very confused and concerned. What went wrong? Can I fix it? Or, (and this is the possibility that scares me the most) have I somehow managed to lose my gifts forever?
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