I'm writing this as a story as well as a question to anyone who might read it. It contains common experiences that you've all heard before, but I'd really like to be able to write and express them to people who won't judge me as being crazy. I seem to be able to sense how people are feeling, the living and the dead. It just happens to me without warning, but I feel unable to communicate properly what happens. Below I've detailed three examples of things that have happened with dead people.
I had an eighteen year old friend who died in a car crash at 4pm in the afternoon. At about 5pm that day, before the news of the crash got out, I started to feel afraid, really, really frightened. I suddenly felt like there was an intruder in the house - I felt him come through the door, come up the stairs, and stand at the entrance of my doorway. I knew he was there and I sensed intense fear, but I realized it was HIS fear.
When I look back on it retrospectively, I now understand that he was an eighteen year old boy full of life, who without warning had a fatal car crash and died instantly. He was suddenly out of his body and wondering around people he knew, totally freaked out that he wasn't being noticed or recognized. He was utterly trapped where he was and didn't know what to do. It felt like a real cry for help. I wish, wish I could've helped but at the time I didn't know what to do.
The next time it happened was when a friend's mother died. After the funeral, we both sat in my room and she was crying. It went deadly cold, and I felt a strong sense of longing. I realized her mum was with us, I could even sense the exact area of the room she was in; sitting between us, trying to tell me something. All I was getting was this feeling, I couldn't actually hear or see anything, I just felt hounded by this woman that was desperately trying to get a message across to me, because she knew I could feel her, but I couldn't make out what it was.
All I could say was "your mum is here... Right here" and I could point to the spot. We were both shivering, but it was so frustrating to only be able to feel it and not relay a message. I realized all I was receiving was a feeling: her mother's longing and frustration at not being able to contact her child.
My last description regards a friend of mine who committed suicide three months ago. She shut us all out before she died, because she was very depressed and she knew we would try and stop her if she did kill herself. Almost to the minute that she killed herself I got very spontaneously angry. I am not an angry person at all, and I was having an excellent day, but I was seething with anger and hating the world. My mind was terribly black, it was in a blacker place than I could have ever taken myself to. I suddenly felt overcome by a lot of beliefs about the world that I didn't hold - sadistic, negative, oppressive feelings. I felt almost like I was bundled in a black blanket and buried alive. It was like a living hell which came over me.
My family and my boyfriend were utterly shocked. Later that day I found out she had killed herself and I couldn't believe the simultaneous feelings I had. I felt like I knew exactly what state of mind she was in before she killed herself, and the state of mind she was still in, as a spirit - still very angry at the world and everyone. It was a feeling I just couldn't ignore, which gradually went away.
What I'd like help with, is I'd like you to tell me whether this is psychic behaviour? I've heard the term "Empathic" and I believe this might be the tendency that I have, but I'd like someone to help me with it. I basically have no idea, because it seems my "gift" of feeling other's feelings doesn't help anyone at all - it just makes me like a schizophrenic multi-personality maniac, as I seem to take on the feelings of the living and the dead.
Out of nowhere I get these extreme feelings that I know are not my own, and I can't control them or get rid of them. I feel like I know a spirit or a person's whole "story" when I meet them, but not in a way I can express, in a way that I feel I know what it's like to "be" them. The only way I can communicate it to them is to tell them how they are feeling, and they say "yes, yes, oh my God, how did you know?" What is this ability called? How do I control it? Please help, it's driving me insane.
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