I am 24 years old and I am just coming to terms with the fact that I could be a medium. I have been feeling it since I was child, but my upbringing and my highly skeptic parents have taught me to suppress my feelings and ignore them. I have a young child now that is beginning to express the same things I always felt, and it has brought me around to accepting the fact that there is something more going on than what a "normal" person would experience.
When I was a child we lived in a very old farmhouse, built in the late 19th century. There was a cabin that sat where that house now sits that had been there for many years, although the exact date it was built is unknown. It didn't matter if it was day or night, I couldn't be left alone in a room. It wasn't so much that I saw things, I felt them. I constantly felt like someone was with me, lingering behind me and watching, waiting patiently for me to acknowledge them. Sometimes at night I would wake from a dead sleep thinking someone had touched me, or that there had been a sudden movement in the room. Something stirring in the dark, breaking the silence. I should also add that I never felt in danger or that there was something trying to harm me. I never experienced "poltergeist". It was just a presence.
As I grew up I found that I was different in many more ways. I became obsessed with history. I had an unquenchable thirst for learning about things that had happened before my time. I needed to know what existed before I did. It created a rift between me and other children of my age. I remember my second grade teacher being the first to tell me I'm an old soul, a sentiment I have heard repeated various times thus far in my life. I began to read books about haunting and mediums.
It was around this time that I began to communicate with the entity I felt. I started to draw clear lines between when I began to feel its presence and when it left me. Let me also make clear that when I say "communicate", it wasn't like I was using a Ouija board or asking it to prove itself. And I also have to say it never interfered with my physical world, in that it never moved objects or made a physical appearance. But I would talk to it, as any child would speak to a friend. I would tell it about my day or tell it funny stories. It never responded in a sense that I heard it. But I felt an understanding. I could sense amusement, understanding, confusion. I felt I had a companion.
I also began to sense things elsewhere. For example, there is an old restaurant we frequented that at one time had been a hotel. I felt a presence there as we were eating, something more than just the staff and patrons. It seems "they" (meaning the spirits) could sense that I knew of their presence, because they made themselves known to me. I felt him (I felt he was an older gentleman) standing beside my table as we ate. He stayed with me throughout the whole meal and for some reason I felt very strongly that it was a one time owner, perhaps even the man who started the establishment. In my mind I called him Mr. Willard (the restaurant was called The Willard), and I said things aloud like "This food is really good!" and "This is a beautiful place!" I felt that it pleased him. I still go to that place to this day and every time I walk in I feel his presence, a strong welcome, like I will always have place there. (Note: In the past five years they have began billing this place as a "haunted hotel" and open the upstairs as an attraction at Halloween. It's tragic.)
When I got a little older we moved into a new house and my grandparents moved into our old house. Sadly the spirit didn't follow me, which I can only attribute to the fact that it had strong ties to the house and not me. It made me sad. So for a few years my sensitivity subsided, or I was dealing with too many other things, like hormonal changes and the nightmare that is jr. High, to notice it. When I was 13 my grandmother became very ill. She eventually passed away in the old house, in the very room that I spent most of my time communicating with my spirit friend. A few weeks before she died she told my mom that a young girl lived upstairs (a part of the house that had at one time been bedrooms but was used as storage for as long as I can remember). She said she came to visit her when she was alone and that she sat at the foot of her bed and talked for hours. I think, in my grandma's altered state, right there before her death, she became sensitive too. Everyone else thought she was delusional.
My sensitivity slowly returned after my grandma's death. I didn't have a specific entity I associated with, but I began to feel things again. I would walk into an old house and feel a presence. I could drive over a bridge and get very strong feelings about it. Once, when my husband (a firefighter and paramedic) and I were dating, he took me into a part of the state park that they have to monitor constantly because of a high rate of suicide. I immediately needed to leave. I felt like I couldn't breath, like there was no air left in the car. I felt a sadness like none I had ever felt before, a hopelessness in the deepest part of me. I had never felt like that before and I haven't since. I will never go back there.
It is to a point now that I can pinpoint when a place is going to have a presence. I have even gotten a few notable pictures that I would argue contain a spirit, not so much because of what's in the picture, but because of the feeling I had while taking it. For instance, I drove by a graveyard once and I felt very strongly that I wanted to stop. When I got out I felt someone was there, casually wandering just as I was. I snapped a few pictures while I talked aloud, and hiding behind a tree I have an image of a young girl in a long white dress and a gray overcoat. In another example, there is a house I always drive by on my way to work. It's an old, abandoned, falling down house very similar to the one I grew up in. The house is in disarray, yet the grounds are always cared for. I have been drawn to this place since I first saw it, and one day I stopped and snapped a few photos. In a back window I can clearly see and older, balding gentleman with glasses peering out at me.
My youngest son, who is two, has already began experiencing some of these things. When I take him to see my grandpa (who still lives in that old house), his favorite room is my old bedroom, which is now empty. I will find him in there, sitting in the floor jabbering away. I can still feel my old friend there too, though she doesn't linger about me as much as she used to. (I think she's a child, so I'm sure she finds me too boring and grown up now.) I was even able to get a picture of her as well, but I don't like it because I think she looks sad in it. I never felt like she was sad when she was with me. Maybe she's just lonely. But I digress. He has imaginary friends with names of people we have never met (like Lester. I don't know a Lester and I am certain he has never met one.)
In conclusion, I wanted to share in celebration that I have finally came to terms with what I feel. I don't know if I would necessarily say I'm a medium or psychic, but I do feel that I am sensitive to the spirits that still linger about. And if anyone knows how I can share pictures I would love to show them to you!
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