I'm not sure how to relate this story.
It all started in August 2012, when I met my boyfriend/fiancé. I met him while I was visiting his sister. They were having a party and I was invited to join in, now he came home from work, got himself a glass and we all were being sociable and having fun.
I was one of those people that could put on a very convincing "fake" smile and pretending everything was hunky dory. He looked at me for what seemed like ages, me smiling and him scowling at me.
He looked for another 15min and spoke straight to me, telling me my smile means nothing to him, and although this scared the living daylights out of me I was intrigued at his words. I immediately got up from my seat, considered walking out the door, but something compelled me to go sit next to him and asking him what he meant by that.
I was under the impression that I could convince him my smile was genuine. Not the case, we started talking, and the more we talked the more intrigued I got. The more we talked the more emotional the atmosphere got, he started asking me questions about my dad, my family etc.
Now I am not the type of person that easily opens up to other people, especially a stranger. But that evening I talked my heart out, about my dad, brother and sister, all who have passed on and the feelings I have about it. Most of the time before I could voice an emotion, he would already have answered his own question to me. Consequently telling me how I felt about everything. This is just unnerving, but I am glad everything worked out between us.
We talked all night that evening, with him chipping away at the wall I have built around myself and my feelings.
Recently I have started to allow myself to feel each and every emotion I have denied over the past 15 years, but only bits at a time. It has been a blessing for this wonderful man to come into my life, and opening me up to all there is in life, allowing me to feel the emotion I have buried deep inside me, and just standing by me to comfort me.
I have not really been in love before this man, but the emotion I feel from him radiates to me in the form of protectiveness, caring and love.
He doesn't want to change me, only wants me to be open to him, and have been a blessing in my life.
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