During my Junior year of high school, I had been doing these mental exercises to focus/clear my mind. I would shut my eyes and pretend I was inside of my head where everything was completely dark and still. I would feel like I was actually sitting on a chair in a room... Inside my head. I would do this to relax.
The story continues to later in my Junior year when I had a migraine during free time during class. I simply could not take the pain, so I closed my eyes and went into dark room. I felt overwhelmed by the pain, but then a voice, very fluid and relaxing, told me to ignore the pain. He said, "It's not real if you don't think it is. Let it go..."
When I would pretend the pain wasn't real, I felt the migraine lift. Then it would come back when I started to lose my balance with the idea. But after an hour when the class was over, I opened my eyes and the migraine was totally gone. And not just that, I felt totally recharged. I felt very strong, very mentally focused and able.
This intrigued me, so I kept trying to get the voice to come back and it did. I always felt that it was a good thing. I would talk to him when I was upset or just plain bored. It wasn't audible responses or chats, it was just like a thought.
A year later, I had a marijuana/alcohol incident. The two drugs together sent me into a very bad panic attack. I used to have small ones once in a while before, but never EVER like this. So after that one, they started to happen all the time. I could get the voice to talk me out of them a lot.
But then I started to become skeptical of the voice, wondering if it was actually a good thing. When I started to wonder about this, I started to get a negative voice.
One night, this new negative voice was cursing at me and telling me I was going to hell. I was so afraid, I asked the good voice to make the bad one go away. They got into a shouting match, but the bad one went away. Nevertheless, it left me ragged with fear.
My dad used to be a pastor, so I told him about these things and he told me to stop listening to all the voices. So I did. I tried to forget about all of them, because I couldn't be sure if any of it was positive. So I have, but I know they're still there. I just tune them out and don't focus on it.
Right now, I'm feeling very apprehensive and am afraid to write more. I feel like I'm being watched. Eek. But anyway, feedback would be great.
Loading comments....
As far as the migraine not being real, that was definately your higher self talking. Your ego wants you to believe in this physical place and get trapped by the rules here. That's very cool you were able to hear that, I've done that type of thing since I was a kid and would take away aches and pains. Later I was able to do a lot more with my mind, mostly I can heal things, and sometimes instantly, so stick with it, if you can really connect with the fact that this place is not real, it is really a dream world that your mind entered to learn, you can do amazing and wonderful things and it can really help you out later and you will be able to help others as well. You don't need to fear your negative self. You seem very strong and it is just challenging you. Hope that helps dear.