Unsure What This Feeling Is

This is the first time I have really wrote anything like this, it started back when I was very young. I was probably 5 or 6 and when I used to get up to go to the bathroom I usually just ended up sitting there and feeling like my head was very heavy and in a trance. There was a loud static feeling and sound going through my head and I would sit there, for minutes without wanting to move. There were whispers that used to come into my head and count down numbers faster and faster until I felt dizzy and then it seemed I would snap out of it. Sometimes it wouldn't be numbers it would just be very fast talking and I couldn't make out what was being said. This would happen a lot as a kid.

I hadn't experience anything else that I could remember until I was 23, I was living on a boat and I was having a nap. It felt like I was in between sleeping and being awake, I felt something heavy putting pressure on me (pushing me gently down further into the bed) and then I felt something pulling my right shoulder out of the bed. Whatever was happening felt like it was pulling me off the boat. The second time this happened was a couple weeks later and I felt someone stroking my head. This felt scary to me because it felt so real.

I moved to Spain with my best friend (who has similar experiences) and while sleeping one night I felt something take my hands gently into the air and turn them so I was rolled around on my other side. I went with it because I didn't feel any negative vibes or reason to stop. From there it felt like arms were wrapped around me (so much that I felt it was a real person (a boy I had been seeing from Spain) I felt comfortable and faintly could feel the forearm. As this was happening I felt curious and wondered if it was him there and I just forgot he was over - so I went to kiss 'his' forearm and I felt a slight slap on my hand. I knew it wasn't my boyfriend at that point and jerked myself awake... I felt strange and talked about it to my friend who was just outside my room. She had said shed been awake walking through the house because she felt like someone was in the house. This was all around 3-4 in the morning.

When I moved to Africa things really started to get heavy. I felt a feeling like I was rolling off my bed once again and hovering with my feet pointed at the ground (in my room - I could still see my surroundings). The most vivid of happenings was when I woke up - unable to move and looked over and there was a faint and dark outline of a man crouching next to my bed he had long arms crossed in front of him with a ring on, and a box on his head. I asked him what he wanted (I tried to speak but it was hard to get words out and I could hear myself struggling) I don't really remember what he said so I asked if he was good or bad (getting nervous and frustrated because I wanted to be left alone) and as this was happening my solar plexus felt like it was being twisted and poked at, I was in a lot of pain. And his voice changed to a very creepy sound and said he was very good... I got a bad feeling and he said "its in there isn't it?" and suddenly tried to reach his hand down my mouth (to get something inside of me?) I immediately bit down hard on what felt like a finger and I woke up and the feeling was gone. I was very very uneasy after all this happened because I got a very negative vibe. I also could not believe what had happened if I was going crazy because everything I physically experienced (the pain, his force) felt real to me.

Every time this feeling of something or someone around comes back I now say "i know you are here please leave me and go on" and hope that it passes. I don't get a scared feeling too much anymore its more of an acceptance, however I do get frustrated if it lingers... I'm not sure what is going on, and if its dangerous to read to into things. I have always felt like I can feel things more than others, and lately I have been noticing things are happening to me (good and bad) I'm not sure if I'm manifesting in my head or what is going on... I have usually a very positive outlook on things and use love as my power. However I'm not sure what is going on so I am not as confident in how to react.