I don't quite know where to start. You might say I am one of the lucky ones who possess psychic abilities, without practicing or believing in it. So I feel lazy, when the only powers I have spent time on, is those I cannot escape. Which is empath, or as I call it energetic sensitivity. However, it doesn't stop evolving. Even if I have lost my faith, and just want it to stop so I can have a break.
Curse I would call it, at the moment. Because it's not just empathic, feeling others emotions. I feel their presence, and it physically pains me. A few months ago, I felt like my head were exploding as I relaxed near a relative who were depressed. So I ran and got several crystals to hopefully let them take some of the energetic dissonance, instead of it reaching me.
I cannot see any reason in this, what can I gain for my apparent energetic sensitivity, but lack of protection. Might just be lack of faith, but I cannot find it. It pains me greatly, as I live with my family. To actually be pained by their presence.
It's not anything too serious, just my head, or forehead to be more precise. But the moment they awaken, it starts, and it gets worse the closer they get. It usually overwhelms me the moment I leave my room, yet the moment I get back to myself again. It's back, in varying degrees depending on my surroundings.
I see that it doesn't matter how much I have learned, all the hours I've studied everything from crystals to science. All the supposed truths doesn't heal a broken faith.
I've had a lone wolf attitude never sharing anything about myself, coupled with believing I could do anything, whenever people had problems and dumped them on me, I said I could handle it all *bad mistake.
Now it pains my ego beliefs of self-sufficiency to reach out, be honest, and just say I'm lost. Before I always felt I had a backup generator, which pushed me back on track. Now I am just me, alone, with abilities I feel like I cannot handle anymore.
So if you have any advice, or could send some energy my way. You have my sincere gratitude.