Feeling Someone's Emotions As Your Own

I am so relieved to know that I am not alone in this. However it is making me very isolated. It's difficult to be around others because I perceive so much sadness from others.

This has happened to me my whole life but recently became so strong that I find it difficult to function.

I think the thing that triggered it to this extent was some time I spent with someone. We had a brief relationship many years ago and then reconnected. It turned out that he has an addiction to drugs. The last time we were together he went on a three day binge and then fell into a type of trance like behavior. I knew I had to get away from him because I was picking up on his feelings... In fact I'm sure I was feeling EXACTLY what he was feeling. He was barely speaking or responding. I was being pulled into his emotional void and felt as if I was in a tunnel. That things were happening around me but that I wasn't a part of any of it.

I had to drive five hours with him in this state and was feeling his tunnel like emptiness the entire time. I couldn't get away from him fast enough. I haven't communicated with him since this happened but I can't shake the feeling.

I do think that I had an unhealthy soul time with him.

Now I can't even watch TV. If I see a young starlet on the red carpet I can feel her pain if she is suffering. There are few shows that I can watch without picking up on negative emotions. It has gotten so bad that at times I have sever panic attacks over the need to break away from others' pain.

If I see anyone cry I cry... However if someone is fake crying I don't cry. I can pick up on that too.
On crime shows I can immediately tell who is lying.

There is nothing good that comes with this ability. It only serves to make me feel that we are in the midst of the decline of man. There is so much lying and pain amongst us.

I'm avoiding medications since I've tried antidepressants before and they made things worse.

If anyone knows of anything that helps please let know. My life is at a standstill right now. I am around my adult children frequently so I hide my emotions by doing my best to act like I used to, when the truth is that I am stymied in life right now. I can't move forward having the burden of so many peoples emotions pressing down on me.

Any advice would help. Thank you

Anne thank you;you clearly understand my situation. I will go read the book; thanks once again.

Being produtive with your love might help block out them emotions. The kind of things you can do that are productive could be like going out to see a movie, or go for a walk or go swimming anything that may help keep your mind off of things.

The people I'm close with are very easy to read for emotions since I'd know that person for a long time. Alot people go through a lot of hard times in life and I know that feeling negative emotions can become to great to handle. There are a couple ways to change that feeling is by helping that person feel happiness, care, and trust or try to find a way to block those emotions and do somthing that is productive when your with your love.

There are only so many things you can do when you feel and perceive the emotions of others that you're deeply connected to.

As I'm sure you're well aware, you can't turn this off like a switch (that would be so nice if we could). This connection will persist and one can only hope that time softens it. You've added medication but that only helps so much as you've found out.

The only other means of dealing with this, is dealing with the thoughts themselves. If you can't change reality then you can opt for changing your thoughts about reality (the author Byron Katie writes magnificently about this in her book, Loving What Is - I highly recommend it in your situation). In other words, your partner may be in pain, and you may be picking up on this but instead of attaching yourself to that mentally, accept it as her reality and leave the judgment aside. Since you yourself are suffering so much and "losing your life" I recommend you go pick that book up at a library. It's a real life changer.

But if you refuse to let go of your attachment to her suffering and make it your own (psychologically we sometimes don't want to let this go because we tell ourselves, "well, if I let go of this, I won't have anything left of her", thereby creating a deeper and prolonged attachment), there is little else to be done. We all go through very painful separations and no one is exempt from this suffering. It's part of being human and definitely not a fun aspect of that.

I totally feel for you and your situation. Like many difficult things, I wish I had a "quick and easy fix" for something so hard.

Anne