Lately I've been feeling really down and I feel physically exhausted and pained. Like, my muscles will become extremely sore for no reason or an excruciating pain will be felt somewhere in my body.
Likewise, I've been really depressed, angry, irritated, etc. I've been decently happy and neutral with my emotions for about 3 months now, and nothing happened that would make me depressed or feel anything. These emotions come on full blast for no apparent reason. Yes, for the past 3 years I've been in and out of hospitals and therapies because I was self-mutilating and I even tried to kill myself several times - somehow, I don't believe that it has anything to do with this because, like I said, I've been fine and neutral the past few months.
I've been hearing a lot about being an empath recently - nothing particular to me, but I'm wondering if this could be my case? I've always been extremely sensitive to people's ideas, thoughts, and feelings. It's very easy for me to know what someone is thinking or feeling by just being in their presence.
I'm really scared because if this is just another long period of depression for me, then I'm just slowly spiraling downwards back into the hell I just got off. I don't want it to be depression at all, but I am willing to accept that idea if it's what you people think it is. No, I haven't told my psychiatrist, therapists, doctor, or anyone - I do not wish to do that because it will just get me back into a hospital because that's how everyone reacts to me in my life. I'm driving myself insane and I can't concentrate on anything while thinking about this. I'm EXTREMELY paranoid!
I would be really grateful if you could leave your ideas or similar experiences or anything as comments. I really do want to know what's going on and I don't want to end up in more therapy, especially not another psych-ward.