I'd like to share my 'experience' and see if anyone can relate or give me some guidance.
I've always had a weird feeling about myself and a strange way of guiding events but in the last two years, since I turned 19 (21 now). I've become very aware of what's going on. Let me tell you what's been going on I'm not sure how much of this is related.
On my 13th birthday I got the weirdest sickness I just felt sapped of energy and slept through the day; In the morning I woke up with wild leg pains to the point that I couldn't walk. The pain would migrate around throughout my legs and as the years went on it found its way to every joint in my body. I've gotten used to the pain and can function totally normally but it's always in the background. The doctor called it arthritis but the symptoms don't exactly match up.
Around the same time I got this weird skill, like manipulating the tone in my voice to get very exact reactions out of people, and this sense of knowing exactly what to do at each moment, and I had wild amounts of energy almost too much. I almost never drank caffeine but I could go on 3 to 4 hours of sleep like it was a full nights rest.
Around my 18th birthday someone in a very peculiar relation to me passed away, right around the same time I was trying to get a girl I really liked for the first time, and failed. I got really depressed and went off to college with the intent of being forgotten by everyone I ever knew. And then I slowly started to lose my sense of knowing and any sway I had on people. One event in particular has been bugging me for the last two years now.
I was sitting under my bunk bed back home and I felt something bubbling inside my head and slowly some liquid feeling stuff drained into my top left eye lid. It turned into a huge lump I went to the doctor after a few days and they said it was a sty and prescribed antibiotics--long story short it didn't help at all they said it was something else poked at it with sharp things and still no help.
The bump causes this intense pressure headache that drags me to the floor, I can have the craziest violent thoughts or just fall asleep when this happens. I've had about 1/10th of the energy I used to since this thing got to me. I spend almost half of my days sleeping now, it's hard for me to go for more than few hours without lying down. Trying to focus on things for a long time is very difficult.
A little less than a year later I'm sitting in a college physics class and were talking about the light spectrum, I always day dream in class and started thinking about multiple "octaves" of light and perhaps seeing them. After thinking about it quite a bit I started to see jumping lights around some of my teacher's heads and chest. I did a bit of research and learned about auras. I became quite interested in them and practiced seeing, now if I'm not talking or trying to do something I see them without any effort, mostly on trees and people, sometimes with colors. But when I do I will often get a headache and fall asleep. If I look at the sky during the day it bubbles with crazy bits of spectral static and then I feel the drag. Recently when I look at the sky its almost looked like tides on the beech rushing away from me and on intense days I can feel like I'm moving with it.
I started trying to move the energy of the headache out of my eye, and I did successfully but now the headache just hurts my whole forehead. With the pain in my joints and my head along with these crazy experiences I'm starting to lose my patience.
Sometimes I'll dream about something bad happening to a family member and then in real life something will happen to them, usually the next day or even within the hour if its bad enough to wake me up.
A lot of the time being around people gives me crazy feelings. I can practically taste their boredom or sadness. I always feel like it's my job to do something about it which can make me anxious and only compound the problem.
I have had many other experiences but these seem the most pressing and I don't want to bore everybody making this any longer than it already is.
If anybody could give me advice or relate I would greatly appreciate it.
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