So, as I stated in my last story, which I suggest you read if you haven't otherwise this won't make sense, I am having immense feelings of empathy. Or at least I think I am. I am still quite unsure of what I have, though most of the people here that have made the effort to try to help me out have told me its empathy.
Sure, we all feel empathy to some extent, but as I have figured out, most people ignore this sense. My mom seems to say she agrees with me only because she wants me to feel good about my self, but she doesn't know I can tell. This hurts me more than if she were to just tell me she didn't believe me.
The only other people I have told are here on this website, and I feel like I need to tell someone. Of course, if my own mother won't believe me then no one I tell will. Not even the person I am almost positive I love. Don't judge me please, because I know it's weird to say I am an empath, and that I am truly in love when I am only 15, but bear with me here.
I want to know for certain what I am, empath or average. But I don't know what to tell you all. I guess I could start with some of my first feelings of empathy. Besides the crazy rapist man that dated my grandmother, of course. If you want to hear about that, you will have to read my first story.
For this story I will tell you a little bit about a girl who I would love to name, but won't. She is dating the boy I love. She is literally oozing evil, but only someone like me would notice without having to get too close to her. Sure, you could argue that it is simply because I am jealous that I feel like this about her, but that's not it at all. I can tell the difference between a fit of jealousy and a true vibe, and she is full of bad vibes. I felt it the moment I met her.
I met the boy I love one day back stage in a play, and since we were in the play (in a way) she had to come see it. I met her after the show while I was with the boy. He left me without a word and went to her. Yes, I was jealous, and even outraged when he came back to me like nothing happened after she left, but there was much more. Even before I knew she was his girlfriend, I felt the vibes, they smacked me like waves and made my head pound. She was terrible in so many ways and it only took a look to know it.
The back up evidence I got from people who were closer to her than I was the deal breaker, and I knew that she really was as I had suspected, evil. She is one of the most pushy and controlling people I have actually met. She is like the kind of girl you see on TV and want to jump into the screen and smash their face into the wall of the set. Yes, that bad. She wedged her way into the boy's life while he was dating this girl's friend. She just kept pushing her way in until he gave into her and started dating her instead, which obviously hurt the first girl's life in some way. Not only did she shove her way in there, she immediately began to control him and everything he did, not letting him hang out with his BEST friend from kindergarten just because she was insecure, pushing him to make bad decisions, and sending him so close to the edge various times.
She was so terrible to this boy, even after his parents divorced and a rumor was spread about him, which happened much too close together, that he one day was so close to the edge that he couldn't take it anymore and went outside in the winter with a short sleeved shirt on and chopped wood for three hours straight. Now, I can't possibly say what drove him to do this, but I know for certain it had something to do with the girl. All of the last few weeks of school I have sensed something within him, something he doesn't want to let anyone find, not his parents, not his brother, not his girlfriend, not his councilor, and definitely not me. But I see through his shield, which is an excellent shield to be honest, and it breaks me to pieces to know he is in so much pain underneath. I constantly worry he will do something irrational, worry that he will go over the edge once and never make it back, and I hope that I can prevent it someday if he will let me in.
Sorry for trailing on so long, that should have been two stories, I think. Regardless, thank you for reading, and please share your opinion on my 'empathy' (if you should decide to call it that,) it means a lot to me.
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