Contact With The Recently Deceased?

I can't claim to have strong psychic abilities, at least not ones I can define. I definitely experienced some supernatural things when I was younger. I believe I was much more 'in tune' then, than I am now, with the hustle and bustle of adult life as a distraction. I won't go into that too much right now. Right now I'd like to discuss a kind of awakening that I think I might be experiencing.

I recently lost a good friend of almost 20 years to suicide. He was also a lover for almost 5 years. We went our separate ways for several years, but in the last couple of years we had reconciled and become close again. I saw him only 1 week before he took his life, and spent hours and hours talking with him, until the sun came up. It was a beautiful reconnection. The loss has emotionally and spiritually devastated me. Since his death, which was less than a month ago, I've been on a quest to find answers, to find inner peace, possibly to find him.

I've been meditating more than usual, trying to deal with the trauma and also trying to become more spiritually, so that I might be more susceptible to communicating with my friend, should the occasion should arise. Six days after his death, in meditation, I opened myself up and told him I was available to contact. I have never tried anything like this before. The very act of spreading my arms open wide, and saying out loud "I am listening, and I am here" brought an immediate sense of comfort to me.

Later that night, I believe he contacted me in a dream, briefly, just to let me know he was listening, and he was there. Also, that he was in transition, and was working on some issues. I was so excited, I awoke immediately after the dream and was smiling ear to ear. Like the fascinated child I used to be, I was determined to learn more about this kind of experience and went to a local holistic healing center and started looking through the books. I found "Life on the Other Side" by Sylvia Browne. That night I stayed up late, read a couple chapters and put the book on a coffee table that was against the wall. I stuck a CD cover inside the book to hold my place, and I went to bed. As I laid in bed wide awake thinking about Sylvia's words about the other side, I again invited my friend to communicate.

The next morning, I awoke and the book was not on the table anymore. It had somehow slid behind the table, against the wall, and was on the floor. The CD case that I had put inside of it was still on the table. I was a little shocked, but also very excited. I inspected the book, and began to run a series of little tests to see what could have made it fall the way it did. I have two cats, so I wasn't dismissing the fact that one of them could've knocked it over somehow. But no matter what I did, either the book fell with the CD inside of it (with more force than a cat would provide), or it hit the wall but it did not fall on to the floor.

I'm pretty convinced I received another message. Since then, I've had extremely intense dreams about him, some of which I think we're just dreams and not direct communications. Again, I don't experience things like this all the time, I think that my awakened interest and my desire to absorb such messages has something to do with it.

But I'd like to think that if I was able to do it then, I can do it again.

I'm really excited about how this is unfolding, and I just wanted to share it with people who have experienced similar things.

I'm not really sure what to expect at this point. But I do feel deep inside that I am awakening something within me, and I'm curious what the next step might be. I'm tempted to see a medium and try to get more definitive answers about my friend. I also want to keep strengthening the communication somehow, so that he can just come directly to me. If this is something I might possibly learn, I would like to try and contact others whom I've lost. But one thing at a time.

Thanks for listening.