Feelings And Pulls

I'm thirty now, but have had psychic experiences for as long as I can remember. Once when I was a child, my dad told me that both he and my mom have ESP to varying degrees. He said his faded as he got older. He told me it was important to marry someone with ESP so that I would pass the trait on to my kids. He said he thinks that's how people are evolving. I think it's a little strange of him to tell a young girl this, but whatever.

One of the first experiences I remember was as a child. I was somewhere in my pre-teen years. It was spring, and where we live there are often big grassfires on spring nights. My dad had some land, and we always worked hard to protect it from fires. I was restless, I couldn't sleep. I told my dad. He called somebody to check on our land, and sure enough it was on fire.

The worst car wreck I've been in to date. I was driving my dad's car. A red fox ran across the road in front of me, and I knew I was going to have a wreck. I whispered a prayer. Please God let me be ok, and let it happen a little farther down the road. Less than ten minutes later I rolled the car.

As a child I had two visions of my future. One I was driving a red sports car from somewhere to my parents place. I had three kids. I could tell there were two of one gender, and one of the other. I didn't know what the breakdown was though. I have three kids now. Two boys, and a girl.

I also had a vision where I was walking two collies down a city street. I was wearing a brown fur coat. I walked into the office, and kissed a handsome man who was tall, had dark hair, and was a little older than me. That one hasn't come true yet.

I was crazy about my first boyfriend when I was around 14-15. One day, I was out at my dad's land again. My left arm suddenly started to ache. I knew he was hurt. He was. He had broken his left arm. I felt this 50 miles away, before cell phones were popular.

I've had deja vus. They aren't my strongest sense though. I will dream something, and sometime later it will happen. I usually feel they are a fork in the road of my life. I also usually have a vague feeling about what I should do to choose a certain path. They freak me out with their vagueness.

Lately, my senses have been pulling me toward a person. I fell in love with him without meaning to last spring. When we were together all the cliché romance story stuff happened. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't talk and make sense, I couldn't concentrate without him around either. We worked together, and when we teamed up on a project we were unstoppable. We would also almost every day--wear matching clothes--by sheer coincidence. Like down to the shade matching. I'm not sure whether he loves me in return. We had a falling out. I felt he didn't respect me. I cut him out of my life. However, I keep feeling pulled back to the area where he is. He owns a business. I ended up renting an office upstairs in the same office building. We haven't really talked in months. A relationship between us would never work. I still think of him every day. People are telling me to let go. I think some of them are starting to think I'm crazy. I have never felt this way about anyone. I'm trying to let go of him, but my heart is fighting it. I had a strong feeling he is coming back into my life the other day. I accidentally bumped into him at the elevator. He made an excuse to talk to me for a few minutes. We were both wearing dark, dusky blue. His was a tie. Mine was a suit. Yesterday, I felt so strongly that he was coming back into my life, that it seemed as sure as knowing where my house is located. Today, I woke up and felt that I would see him, but something said don't hurry, take your time. I did. I got all fixed up. Put on perfume. Came to the office. After a couple of hours, I went back to the parking garage to get something from my car. I almost walked into him. He looked amazing. He was wearing a sweater of a dark teal green. So was I.

My sense of perception has never been so strong with another person since that first boyfriend. I think it is actually stronger with this guy. I'm not crazy, or a stalker. Are my senses getting stronger as I age? (According to my dad they should be weakening). Is there something I should be watching for here? I am not making up excuses to be where he is at. I feel it and it happens. I mean what are the chances of meeting someone at the lobby elevators at odd times of the day in a 22 story office building in a big city? Do we have unfinished business? Could it be some project we are supposed to work on together? (A close friend told me she had a dream I would be working on a big case soon.) Could this guy be my soul mate? (Even though we are both in committed relationships with others.) Am I bending my senses to pick up when he will be somewhere so I can see him? Could I feel this strongly pulled to someone who does not feel anything for me? This is tearing me up inside, and when I see him I am upset for a few hours. Yes, I shouldn't have come back to this building, but I feel it is my office-home. Any words of wisdom are much appreciated--even if they aren't what you think I want to hear.