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I've Always Been Weird This Way

 

I'm not sure how anyone can separate medium experience from ghost and spiritual experiences. I consider them one and the same. I am thirty-four, and I have been experiencing medium/visitations for as long as I can remember. My earliest memory is of my great grandmother, whom I'd never met, rocking beside my bed at night. As early as I can remember, I would have prophetic dreams of my family, some of strangers I'd never know, and horrible premonitions.

My earliest memory of a visitation, as I call them, was when my sisters and me were lost on a beach. We'd vacationed at Tybee Island in Savannah, Georgia, and my sisters decided to go walking on the beach. My oldest sister ran into a party, and decided to stay. The next to the oldest decided to wait where she was for my older sister, and I, in my headstrong way, decided to find my way back by myself (I was all of 10). Little did I know, the condos on the beach all looked the same, and I didn't know which one was mine. Having walked a good distance, I decided to turn back and go back to my sister. All of a sudden there was sand everywhere, and wind, and I couldn't see two inches in front of my face, and I couldn't hear anything, and I just started screaming my sister's name, "Daniece! Daniece!" Out of nowhere this man appears, taller than my step-father, I remember thinking (and my step-father was greater than six feet), and he asks me if I am looking for my sister. "Yes," I say through tears and sand and salt. And he lays a hand on me, but I'm not afraid. And I remember asking myself why I'm not afraid - this strange man near me on the beach. But, I'm unafraid.

We begin walking, and the further we walk, the clearer I begin to see Daniece, and I yell "Daniece! Daniece!" Still sand, still wind, still loud. And he tells me "She can't hear you..." And he walks me until we are together, and Daniece tells him "Thank you," and we hug, and we cry and cry. The sand is gone, the wind is gone - it's still loud (it IS the ocean). When we look up from our hug, the man is gone. He isn't walking up or down the beach; he isn't walking through the parking lots to any of the condos; he isn't walking into the water. He's the real nowhere man. Totally freaked, we got the hell out of there.

We would be 30 before we ever spoke of that night again.

My earliest premonition was when I was in elementary school, maybe 3rd or 4th grade, and my heart began racing so fast I couldn't breathe. Instinctively, I knew something was wrong, and I knew it didn't have anything to do with me. I was sitting in class, learning multiplication. I began to go down a list of names of people I knew and loved, and when I got to my mother's name (that, of course, being "mom"), my heart began to race uncontrollably. In that instant that I spoke her name, I knew she'd been in a car accident.

This continued on for years, sometimes stronger, sometimes quiet - so quiet I'd feel empty and almost blind without it. When I was twelve, I went on vacation with a friend of mine to New Orleans to The World's Fair. I couldn't sleep, and my heart was racing. In the way to which I'd grown accustomed, I went through the names of those I knew and loved until I reached my sister's name, and in that moment, I knew she was being raped. A week later, when I returned home, my mother told me the truth of my intuition.

The first intuitive dream I remember having was after I had given birth to my son. His father and I had separated and divorced, and we had joint custody. My son was with his father for the weekend, and I dreamt that my son was walking along a highway (six years old) and I picked him up and put him in the car. I asked him why he was walking alone on the highway, and where was his father, to which he replied "at the stadium..." My son pulled up his shirt and showed me a wound on his back where he said he'd fallen from the bleachers. I took my son, in the dream, to the "stadium" - bleachers and bright lights - and showed his father his wound, and gave him a sound cussing.

The following Sunday, back in the real world, when my ex-husband arrived home with my son, I turned my son around and lifted his shirt and exposed a wound on his back. My ex-husband, knowing of my intuitive experiences, didn't seem shocked at all. I asked how the wound got there. They had been at a rodeo, he said - stadium, bright lights - and my son had fallen from the bleachers. "I had a dream," I told him. His response was, "Yeah, you were always weird like that..."

In the past few years, my senses have taken a different turn, perhaps a more advanced one. I feel entities. I don't call them ghosts because I'm unsure if they were people who were ever once alive, or just entities who never had a body. I ran into a man in my hallway one night. I couldn't sleep, and I'd gotten up to go to the bathroom. When I came down the hallway I was talking to myself about how frustrated I was not to be able to sleep, and I ran smack into a figure. I backed up, unafraid but very confused. He seemed as shocked as I did. He ran into my living room, where my children were sleeping on a sleeper sofa for the Friday night movie night, and so I ran after him - you know, going to protect the babies. But, when I got there, he was gone.

I wonder if there is anything I'm supposed to be doing with this ability. I don't mean in the making money way, or exploitation way. I have tried to ignore my so-called "gifts," tried religion to make it go away, tried business to be preoccupied, but it's with me all the time. I'm not a believer in Heaven or Hell, or in an Afterlife, or Satan, or ghosts, or entities, or demons, or aliens, etc; nor am I non-believer. The only reason any of those subjects interest me is because of the experiences I've had.

This begs the question: Why me? I hate to squander such a thing. Is there something I'm supposed to be doing that would be helpful to, say, the entities that visit me? Am I supposed to hone these skills and do something with them?

What y'all think?

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Roan, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Flutterofwings (28 stories) (257 posts)
 
17 years ago (2008-03-05)
The one of the man on the beach, makes me think of one I have called" The homeless man" on the spiritual site here. Angels come to us in ways we don't know. And when they do come, we aren't afraid. They make us feel good and want them to stick around. In which they don't. The story I wrote of this man was so different, I can still see him in my mind today. And it was done a long time ago.
Not a lot of people have the privilege to see an Angel.
When I realized what this man was in my story, the man was gone, poof like that.
You wrote a nice story, thanks for sharing it with us.
Symple (1 stories) (26 posts)
 
17 years ago (2008-03-05)
Hey Roan, I wish I was at the level you are at, believe me when I say this, But I can only see,(them), out of my peripheral visions. I don't understand how and why I cannot see them head on. When I was younger, around 8 to 12, I could see them head on. I've somehow lost the ability to see and communicate with these beings. I really want that ability back. I know how to protect myself and I'm ready to except and help those (beings) who need help. Umm, perhaps that particular entity did not know he was on the other side yet and was really suprised that he was in an unknown place. This is a truley wonderful gift you have. Own it... I wish I could. 😉 Good luck with it sweetheart. ❤
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-27)
p.s. I apologize for sounding peeved, which I was. Sometimes it's frustrating honestly. It's like having a gift for the piano (I play that too but not great) but having to hide your talent because people can't handle it. It means always being careful. It can mean, in an emergency, that your very best friend who has always thought your abilities were funny, gets scared and never looks at you the same even though you helped a car wreck person. Sad, but true.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-27)
hmmm Martin. Just food for thought... I have found over that years that people with no psychic ability vehemently deny that it exists. People with ability find it non-threatening and can even find it interesting or enjoyable. When you read our stories, do you get images? Do you know which people are remembering accurately or those that are maybe remembering inaccurately to make their story better to themselves? Do you ever walk into a room and feel something unusual, sad, happy, creeped out? Do you seem to know what people need before they need it? I bought my oldest son a flash drive, one of his gifts for Christmas. My hub said that he probably had a lot of them. I almost didn't wrap it, but added a gift card instead so it wouldn't seem like such a dud gift if he did have several. (He got other stuff too.) When he opened it, he looked happy and told me that he had almost bought one last week because he needed another one. He's a junior in college in another state. Anyway, there are many areas where people can be sensitive; if you weren't sensitive, I really don't think you would understand or find this interesting. Just my opinion...
Martin (129 posts) mod
 
17 years ago (2007-12-22)
GlendaSC, I'm not exactly sure what you are asking or looking for, I don't pretend this is the best site on the subject and I encourage others to visit others that might be better suited for them or have more "encyclopedic" or "tutorials" information. This is site is not the authority on the subject, it's just my little corner, but it does have a great format for people to communicate their experiences and get feedback from others without being judged, which is difficult in normal society. The web is a great place for meeting others with the same interests that are difficult to find if you live in a small town, and this site is taking advantage of that. Hope you stick around and share you experiences. I am not a psychic myself, I'm just interested in the subject.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-22)
Dear Martin,
TY for your site and taking the time. I appreciate it. There are divisions of course, but in the end, are there? I've had a blend of stuff. Personally. I've never seen entities, just knew they were there and felt them touch me. Once, almost dozed, and one jerked me awake driving and another time when I slept and was being broken into in my house. Very nice. Anyway, I could fill a book with the deceased and how they interact. I've never been on your ghost part, but I'm not sure ghost is accurate or just cognitive presences who want to be known so struggling there... Anway, aren't sensitive people just sensitive? I've dreamed of the deceased, but mostly I came here to learn of out of body flying and premonitions. Premonitions are the strongest for me. I feel nosey around others. I'm very private usually, and this seems mostly private so opening up is tough, but I can touch or be around a person and know them. I don't see a lot of division myself. My goal is to find another like myself. I don't have much faith in TV or paid psychics. Sorry. But I know that if I exist, others do. Put bluntly. I know a lot of want-to-be's exist too. And guessers. This is an emotional science, so I never say things FOR SURE. I wouldn't claim that. I do my best and try to feel. Do you recommend any sources?

I probably sound mean, because I've looked and I'm not impressed and getting a little peeved. It's not abnormal, just hard to find though there must be a lot. Any insights for me Martin?
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-22)
Dear Roan - that is the question. Is it suppose to be used some way... Maybe the question I came here to figure out. I'm not getting younger. I was here earlier, then went out and raked the yard a few hours. My oldest son came out and I heard him say a bad word, unusual. I said, "What?" He said that he and dad were planning to go out and target shoot at a range 20-40 minutes away, not sure. I knew it had started sprinkling, and we've had a few big rains recently. Held out my hand and went back to raking. I told him it was a sprinkle and would stop soon. So they left for the range. That kind of surprised me. (Being taking for granted.) It stopped after 15 or 20 minutes. I think the forcast is 20 or 40 percent rain chance - not sure honestly. Anyway, is it just for junk likr this or something more... You wrote the question on my mind so I hope you have the answer haha! No pressure...
Edmund (578 posts)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-13)
Good morning Roan

Usually when an Angel is on a mission they won't blind you with love, It would take away from the task at hand. Even if it is something as simple as delivering a lost child. When you said the absence of fear you are 100% correct, That statement really nails it. There are also several lifelong components that happen with such a brief visit from an Angel, I feel in your case no matter what life has thrown at you, you have always been able to find your way and on many different levels... These usually tend to be subtle in nature not the "in your face kind".

Ghosts... There are as many types as there are people. But in a nutshell yes we are energy that belongs to a whole. Again your right on the money. But our spiritual journey has many many different levels. And some do get lost if you will.

I will read just about anything and then filter out "stuff" many religious and spiritual books are presented with a cultural aspect to them... To appeal to the culture they came from or to whom the writers wish to appeal. I just make it my own... There is much truth in simplicity and good results in your strength of belief or your intent. Also remember you can also use your gift... You should just know when people are telling the truth. Just being around people is where the greatest lessons are learned ! 😁
Roan (1 stories) (4 posts)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-13)
Good morning, Edmund. Christmas shopping, ey? Whatdya get lil ole me? 😳 You didn't have to, really. 😉

I've only ever had one experience with anything that I would call "evil..." I shared the story with someone on this website who posted a story about hearing voices. I'd heard voices once in my living room when my oldest child was very small (many, many years ago...lol). There were many voices, sounded male and female, garbled. Before I had time to even process or contemplate what the voices might be, before I had time to be afraid, I felt instantly nauseous. I remember it vividly to this day, and hope I never experience it again.

I can concede that perhaps an etheral being could love us, although I'm unsure I'd liken it to the love I feel for my children. I say this not because of a comparison of the magnitude of the emotion, but because my love for my children is also attached to a lot of fear. I fear for their safety, their health, their happiness, their lives; therefore, my love for my children is not purely alturistic. Upon reflection, it may be the most selfish love of all.

When I was with the man on the beach as a child, looking for my sister, I didn't feel any overwhelming sense of love. I mean to say, I didn't feel any amazing emination of love that just flabbergasted me. I did, however, upon further reflection, feel the absence of fear. It was the one and only time I've ever felt the absence of fear, and it was pretty damn awesome. Perhaps that is an even greater form of love.

I must say, though, Edmund, that when I think of "ghosts," people who were once alive in the flesh as we know it and no longer are, I find it disturbing to think that they are still here after death. Now, I was not one who was taught that we go to Heaven when we die, or to Hell, but I was taught that we are sleeping until judgment day. You've seen how I flounder between my fundamentalist religious background and my self-education in theology, so I teeter between many different ideas of what happens to us after death.

I'm finding it more probable that we are energy, and that when we die we merely become a different form of energy, connected to the whole, and, in such state, free to travel wherever we choose.

I am interested in your views about this, Edmund. I also am curious what you read, and have read, to form your knowledge and opinions about this whole avenue of paranormality...
Edmund (578 posts)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-12)
Roan... When you held your children for the first time that love... That deep love coupled with a childs innocence and its need for you... Is pretty much how a good being feels towards us... Angels, Spirit guides and like minded beings see us as their spiritual children and want us to grow... Well... Spiritually.
Now when we meet one while dreaming... It is scary but your intuition should tell you that it is a good being. Of course everybody has varying degrees of success with this. But you know if it is good or bad way down in the gut.
I tend to forget the degree of love that radiates from a good being. But I will never ever forget the terror that I felt and the hate that comes from an evil being. And seeing dead people or spirits of them... Well a mixed bag of sorts some good some bad some... So so. They are/were people... Being dead didn't make most of them any smarter or nicer ! But it is nice when a loved one pops in a dream to tell you get the car's brakes serviced !
Now what are bad beings afraid of ? God... They hate him and fear him and of course any being of light. Now that's where the Angel hierarchy comes in Satan is not going to be afraid of a bare bottomed cherub... Satan out ranks him... There is a lot of that out there !
So that's it for now got to do some Christmas shopping !

😁
Roan (1 stories) (4 posts)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-12)
Edmund,

Thank you so much for responding to my post!

I have studied the supposed hiearchy of angels once upon a time. The Orthodox Catholics have an awesome sort of caste system of angels, if you will, that simply fascinates me. I read in the Bible somewhere that some angels were left for humans to call upon, but I've never called upon any because I also read that an angel is so large he can spread from one side of the Earth to the other. My, my; isn't that a change from the cute little naked cherubim pictures we all see. Quite a force. I don't think I'll be troubling them unless the need were supernaturally great.

Then again, perhaps that wasn't the Bible. I do sometimes get the Bible and Dante confused. A problem, I find, that is prevalent in Christianity, though few recognize it.

I have accepted that I have these abilities to sense things, and dream things, and I've begun to keep a book of them. I do dream things of people I do not know (nothing cataclysmic just yet), and so I keep a quick reference guide of names and events for when and if our paths do cross.

I have only met one person so far who I could say without question that I dreamt of. She was a woman being beaten by her husband. Her child attended class with mine, and they'd become friends. I pondered and suffered and struggled over whether or not I should tell her my dream, and what I saw, and what I felt and what I thought, but I decided not to. I decided to let God or the Universe, or whatever, handle it. And, of course, it or he, whatever, did. She brought her daughter to my home to play one day, confided in me her situation, and I, without exposing myself or my dream, told her what I might do if I were in her position. Two weeks later, she did just as I'd said, and last time I heard from her they were doing better. Not well (she has many things to overcome), but better.

My thoughts are exactly as yours, Edmund, and I'm glad you voiced them for me. Just as it is easy to naively imagine angels as cute little naked cherubim, it is equally as easy to naively believe that all entities of any sort are wise and good and intelligent. Certainly, logic suggests that this is not the case, and as there are dangerous beings on the Earth that are seen and known and unseen and unknown, these things must, obviously, exist in the ether world, as I would call it, as well.

Since my foundation in faith is Christian, largely, I do arm myself with the armour, so to speak. I do not, however, discount the forces of anything that might exist, and so I'm careful to respectfully ask all things unpleasant to leave.

I have made the final decision, Edmund, to look no further to the entities who visit me from time to time until I can get past the fear. Whatever unfriendlies may exist that I may encounter, I find the fear to be the most threatening of all, and I feel I can not confidently continue until I have it conquered.

What do you think? And, how does one find the source of their fear?
Edmund (578 posts)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-06)
Roan... That was a great story... The beach part, that I believe was an angel they do that once in a while and look like that quite often "just like us". I have encountered one or two in my day and your clear memory of that encounter validates that for me... The gift... Some times its just nice to know things... Knowing a child is in trouble or will get in trouble, A friend who may have a problem and using your gifts to help or lessen the trouble because of your "advanced warning system" is a nice thing to have. Even knowing bad weather is on the way. Now helping lost souls and such... I would refrain from that for a bit until you are sure that you have a spiritual certanity... A spiritual center of sorts... I'm not talking about a religion although many people have taken that path with good and bad results... Let me put it this way... The people I know that have gifts like you... Know the spirit world well and know where the source of that power lies be it good or evil because when you do have gifts many more things other than people will want to use them. 😉
Roan (1 stories) (4 posts)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-04)
Hi, Lisa. Thanks so, so much for your comment!

You know, I have read the Bible many times for things that interest me; Jesus' parables, Ephesians (my favorite book), and the old testaments recount of the Arc of the Covenant. I had no idea there were stories of "gifted" individuals. Although, I did read a biblical story once, and I can't remember which book of the Bible it was now, about a man who needed to solve a problem and went to a "seer..."

I've never checked out Ouija boards or anything like that. I've never done anything to try to encourage my "gifts", if that makes any sense at all. You know, I had small babies, and I was very busy, and I really thought they would just magically go away. That doesn't seem to be the case, though.

Now that my babies are older and getting to high school and needing my attentions on a minute to minute basis less and less, perhaps that's the reason I'm a bit more intuitive - it may be that I just have the time and energy now to pick up on it. You know... Maybe my attentions aren't so diverted.

Good Lord, if my neighbors heard me, they'd think I was talkin' crazy!
Lisa (guest)
 
17 years ago (2007-12-01)
Hi Roan and Martin. From how I look at it, Psychic abilities lie dormant in every human, but we either block them starting at a young age, or we accidentally let other people block these abilities for us.

Roan, I resent your ex-husband saying, "yeah, you were always wierd like that" regarding your psychic dreams. I think that his remark is very insulting, even to me who has no psychic abilities.

Actually, if you check in the Old Testament, you will notice many of the people mentioned using thier God given psychic talents for the good of others.

There is Joseph (the young guy whose brother's sold him to slavery in Egypt) who had prophetic dreams throughout his life.

There is Daniel, Shadrach, Mesach and Abnego (spelling may be wrong) in Babylon.

There is Pilate's wife who had that dream not to have anything to do with crucifying Jesus.

There are other examples throughout the Bible.

I know your neighbors in the Bible belt are tempted in being quick to judge these psychic talents as satanic., but what they must remember is that these are natural gifts from God.

I believe certain tools people use like Ouijja boards, etc, are NOT God's idea and actually fall in the Occult catagories. But psychic gifts don't belong in that catagory.

It is when we use any psychic talents in selfish ways and not for the highest good of others is when the religious folk are justified in thier critiscm.
Roan Bryan (guest)
 
17 years ago (2007-11-29)
Good morning, Martin. Thanks for the clarification. I must say I'm glad this site is up. I live in a very small town in the Bible Belt, and the one time I spoke of an experience I'd had, I was told that it was satan. I didn't find that very helpful. It's comforting to read of other people who are like me, just working, paying some bills, raising some babies, who have similar and very unique experiences.

I'm going to check out the spiritual site, though. Sounds interesting...
Martin (129 posts) mod
 
17 years ago (2007-11-29)
Hi Roan, as the webmaster of the ghost / psychic / spiritual sites, I feel obliged to expose my point of view. First of all, I feel that these three themes cater to a different crowd, hence the site separations.

The ghost site: when a haunting is strong enough, anyone without any special talent can detect it, especially if it manifests physically with sounds and moving objects. Normal people going through special experiences.

Psychic site: dedicated to people with special talents who, for example, can see spirits all the time that others cannot, which is the "medium" aspect. But it's not just about ghosts, it's about psychic abilities also, such as premonitions, clairvoyance, ESP, astral projections. Some people just have a specific ability, not necessarily related to ghosts or hauntings.

Spiritual site: it is *not* about spiritualism, this site has nothing to do with ghosts or mediums or psychic abilities. It is about spiritual growth, transformative or transcending experiences, inner changes... Any experiences related to "being" instead of "doing". They don't have to be related to the supernatural, they can often times be associated, but one have nothing to do with the other. It is closer to religious experiences if you will.

Hence the separation.

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