Sensing Death

I don't remember when it all started, exactly, but it was a few years ago. Life was great. Everyone was healthy, and nothing seemed wrong. But I just had this feeling that my uncle was going to die. I felt so bad about it, like I was hoping he would or something, but that wasn't it, because I loved him. But sure enough, a couple weeks later, he died of an unexpected illness. It was short term, and they still aren't sure exactly sure what killed him, but I was freaked out because I knew it would happen.

Then there was a freshman at my school with cystic fibrosis, and obviously she wasn't expected to live a full, healthy life. But no one thought she'd die anytime soon. All of a sudden, I knew she was in the hospital. I barely knew her, only passed her in the hallway. But I knew she was in the hospital, and then I knew she was dying. They made an announcement that she was dead, and everyone cried, but I was too busy expecting it to know how to be upset. I was just freaked out because I knew.

Then came my other uncle. Again, he was perfectly healthy. Nothing was wrong at all. I just had that feeling in my gut. "Uncle Carol is going to die." I wasn't close to him. I rarely even saw him. I just knew he was going to die. Next thing I know, my grandmother's on the phone telling us when his funeral is.

By this point, I was completely freaked. Not only had I predicted three deaths, but they'd all occurred. Within a relatively small period of time. People were probably starting to think I only went to funerals because I thought it was fun.

Then, just a couple months ago, my boyfriend told me his friend was going into the army. The first thought I had was, "Oh my God, he's going to die, and his fiancé is going to kill herself." What happened? He got deployed. A month or so later, we find out he was killed. A month or so after that, his fiancé had committed suicide. There are a lot of disturbing details about that, but I guess I won't go into it, because basically, I was just increasingly sure that they would die, and how she would die, and when, and I was getting a lot of specifics.

I don't know how I know these things, I just do. I just feel them.