Seeing Shadows

For the longest time I have been seeing, hearing and feeling things that no one else can. Many odd things have happened throughout my entire life that I just cannot explain.

The paranormal and spiritual happenings began when I was around 9 or 10 years old. I was living in Virginia Beach with both of my parents and my older brother. The first experience I had with the spiritual world was a few months after my 75 year old grandpa had passed away. I remember that I was riding my bike around my neighborhood alone and my instincts snapped and told me to look over to my right, when I turned my head to the side I saw my grandfather's face and he had an expression like he was screaming. When I saw it I shrieked and rode my bike as fast I could back home. I told my mom about it and she believed me but, it was a subject that I didn't want to mention to anyone else for some reason.

That was the only time I have ever encountered a family member who had already been gone from this world.

Ever since then I have always been a true believer in the spiritual beings that are on this earth. After that experience, I began to see and feel other things that no one else could, even more so than before.

A few months later after seeing my grandfather, my fear of the dark had grown to a massive phobia. I was afraid to sleep alone, to be in a dark room in itself, to go outside at night, to do anything in the dark because I was seeing spirits, not human spirits, but what I believed to be demonic entities. I was terrified of them. At night while I would try to go to sleep and there was a little bit of light in the room, I would watch them in horror as they would sink out of my walls and their shadowy bodies moving towards me. They would reach out for me and I would swat them away. When one would get too close, I would punch it and it would fly into dust across the room. I don't know if this is paranormal or psychic, all I know is that what I saw was REAL.

Now that I have gotten somewhat older, now being age 13, I have tried to forget everything that I have seen in the past. I find it hard to forget, especially if you are still terrified of nighttime. However, around Christmas of last year I decided to come up with some sort of Character to think of to keep me calm. I let my mind go blank as I sat in my quiet room and thoughts flooded in, black massy hair, red pigmented eyes and teeth like a shark. I thought it was a bit to cliché for a character but I decided to keep him as he was. I decided to name him 'Calcifer' I was comforted by him, ever since he came into my mind the spiritual activity around me decreased. The only weird thing is... Is that now Calcifer is haunting me.

I know, it might sound a little strange but it's true. Ever since I brought him into my imagination he has been there for me through the toughest times. Although I am very fond of him, he isn't as wonderful as he makes himself out to be, I used to call him my imaginary friend but now I just try to keep him in my head and on paper when I draw him.

Recently, the thought of me being schizophrenic has crossed my mind, but I know I'm not. I told my mom about me seeing things and she told me that it could just be me having a childish and overactive imagination. I took her word for it and forgot about everything. Yet again, I can't forget, I still see the shadow spirits everywhere I go. I'll see them rush past me and float away. Sometimes I'll see them stand behind trees and watch me while I'm outside. When this happens, I automatically think of him, Calcifer.

I went to therapy for a short time in 2010. I had gone through a lot in my life, my dad going to war, being abused by my grandmother and aunt, being a social outcast. Sometimes I wonder if all these things happening had actually driven me over the edge to where I am now, the situations of shadow things, had it triggered everything? Or was it just the fate of me?

My therapist didn't really do much to help me in my situation of anxiety and fear of many things, She claimed she was a psychic and knew exactly what was wrong but I began to doubt it when I began to have psychic experiences of my own. If the phone rang, I would somehow know exactly who it is, even if it was a wrong number, I could sense the way someone was feeling just by them walking into the room and I can sense if a spirit is nearby. I don't try to socialize with the things I see, it's something that frightens me. Before I end this story there is one more things that happened less than a day ago. I was sitting here where I am now at my desk and I began to get an uneasy feeling welling up inside of me, my breathing sped up, I could hear my own heartbeat in my head when suddenly a rush of chills ran up my spine and made the hair on my arms stand up on end. I felt like someone was touching my head and hair very gently. I was frozen and I quickly stood up and I saw something that very quickly sank into the floor like a black mist. It was him... I could sense it.

I guess I could say that I need some help, I'm not sure who to go to or what to do. I'm too young for anyone to believe me, still just being a kid and at the same time I'm too old to be coming up with such 'nonsense' I have thought about asking my parents for another therapist but, I know that if I go to see one and I open up to them and tell them the things that happen and what I see, they will most likely put me on medication and/or in a mental hospital. I tell my friends and they just call me crazy. I don't want to accept the fact that I just may be alone in this situation. There has to be at least one person, or a few people who believe me... Because it seems like no one else does, or even really cares. All I need to know is, how to I contact Calcifer, and how do I deal with these spirits that seem to never leave?