Would like to start this by saying something about myself, I have a weak heart and resistance since birth that almost cost me my life. Besides that I was always bullied at school when I was little, that's why I rarely go out of the house and became too shy to even look at people. I'm also afraid of blood especially when I saw it on the wound of someone. I remember that when I was little, about 5-6 years old, one of my Aunt accidentally fell on the stairs and I couldn't stop crying. Although I can't really remember the cause, if it was because of the blood that keeps flowing from my aunts head or because I can feel her pain.
As I grow up my fear of blood was lessen, but now I started feeling sick because of it, either real, while watching or even hearing violent stories, accidents or even pictures. Also during this time I can feel the pain like it was mine, like on a movie when a man's arm was cut off, I felt it like it was my arm that had been cut off. I also cry easily during this time.
During my teenage years until my 20th birthday, I started getting sick at the same time a person near me or on the same room was sick. I can also tell if someone was lying, hiding something, want me to shut-up, if I'm not wanted and even their mood, this include animals as well. I hated when someone was mad at me or when I've done something wrong. I was now liked by many people, even someone that I don't even know, although I'm still too shy to face other people, even relatives, except for someone that I get to hang-out or see often. I rarely get angry and when I was it will only last for an hour or less, although my friends said that my "aura" change and I get scary during this time, even though I just sit there silently and doesn't talk to anyone. A television or radio stations usually cut-off or became static when I pass on them.
Things started to change when I turn 21 until now that I'm 23, this time, someone feeling fine will get sick with the same sickness that I have, my friends doesn't want to be near me when I have a cold because they know that they will get it too. Also during this time I became less emphatic, I think. I can still tell if someone was lying or what's their mood, sometimes and sometimes not. I now tend to have mood swings for no reason and got angry very easily especially if someone near me was angry and this time it lasted for a long period of time. I'm still affected by accident stories and pictures, although I'm only affected by a too violent movies the others don't bother me at all. I also tend to lost all my positive emotions and can't feel the pain from a fresh wound like someone shot me with an anesthesia. But I kind of like it once I felt the pain and wanted to feel more pain. I also feel connected with animals and they usually came to me even my sisters pet or other family pet, seems like I could tell what they want or their emotions, but I can't even feel anything if they died, a pet will also die or get sick if I was injured or when I feel better after being sick with a high fever. I remembered that one of our cat died the day after I lost my balance and slide a few inches on a soiled ground that wounded my whole arm. They say he was healthy before I come home with a bandaged wrapped around my arm, he also hides after our eyes met after I got home and protested when I picked him up.
Hope someone can help me? I've been reading articles about Empath this past few days, I kind of think I'm one before but now I don't think so anymore. I've also read some articles about Psychic Vampires, am I one now?
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To Tortilla: Thanks, I've been trying to grounding. Although now I've been easily distracted.
To firsteyeblind: turn the pain into energy? How can I do that?