My very first 'eye opening' weird experience happened many years ago during the sleep at night/early in the morning and to me it felt very profound.
I slept but I was totally awake. My mind was anyway. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. I felt like captured inside my body which felt like from the concrete. Like a tomb. I could see everything around and only wondered. I so wanted to get "out"! I couldn't move my eyelids, shout or scream... But I could think. As much as I tried only something like a rasp or something similar to a coarse breathing was escaping from my mouth. It was surprisingly more like a whiff of air. My energy body was trapped inside, fighting to get out. Two bodies were one. I couldn't see any movement, but I was moving "inside". My hands were clasped on my chest in a peace like manner like I was dead and I could clearly see them but I was not able to move them. It seemed impossible to lift them, they were incredibly heavy.
My younger brother and my mum slept in the same room (big bed) with me (we were quite a poor family), it was almost morning and I could see them in the dim room sleeping calmly. After I got from the initial shock I was observing the state I was in with a clear mind and I couldn't understand why my brother or mum couldn't feel, sense or hear anything... They had no idea that's something happening with me. But it felt very real.
While I was in that detached state I was trying to figure out what's happening. The very first thought was - I was having some sort of unknown epileptic fit for the first time.
At the end I got back eventually - I connected with my body from the inside. But, it made me think and think for many days. I had realized the soul, spirit, "just" body and/or something more.
I think this very first experience was more like an OBE but the other way round. I felt like bounded, determined to get to know more. So I was trying to learn more.
And since then the various unusual, weird (paranormal) experiences and lucid dreams were just flowing to me. At the beginning I was very keen and open to them but some were very disturbing and maybe that's the reason why at the end I was with all my will trying to cut myself off it in the last 6 years. But they are still happening although I am pushing them away.
I have to admit that in the last years I was rather surviving and unconsciously grounding myself. But recently I've been forced to "google" to find more info about the lucid dreaming. I have read some university's page first and then this one.
This site brought it all up to the surface again and more powerfully because I am writing it all down, going through it again and it feels very alive. There were quite a few experiences which I am attempting to organize into a few stories. They all seem unrelated and yet related. I haven't read all the stories here yet just a few and some very insightful comments from some knowledgeable sensitive people. I wanted to write down all mine first without being influenced by others and their feelings perhaps in order to stay authentic to my own feelings and perceptions during all those altered states. I think I am too oversensitive and I can write too much at a time. So I apologize. I might be too empathetic, too, everything touches me too much and many times I realized I felt overwhelmed by being surrounded by too many people, feelings and emotions.
Thank you for reading it if you got until the end and looking forward to interact and learn and understand more.
Love and blessings
M.
PS Interesting thing is I could correct my mistakes before submitting except the last sentence "...if you got until the end..."
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Thank you very much for your comment.
I can imagine it is much easier when you actually want OBE, you 'study' it, have the right information and you follow the tried and tested techniques. But that very first experience where I realised my energy/astral body was weird, different compared to my later ones. I had no information about OBE. Since then I have experienced OBE, lucid dreaming (very often) and other stuff. I will try to post stories about it later.
I wasn't released out of my body in this case, I was sort of released inside my body (?!) and I could not get out.
Firstly, I didn't ask for it, it just happened and secondly I still don't get why I couldn't get out of my body neither why I so strongly wanted to get out of my body when in that time I had no information about astral travelling. I simply felt captured in my meat body and I intuitively wanted to get out plus it was a very weird feeling as an addition to it.
There would perhaps be some clue (I have to honestly agree) in the fact that I was an oversensitive soul and was thinking about dying constantly since certain time, especially when the troubles of others and family karma started to overwhelm me together with the fact that I couldn't find the satisfactory place for myself in this life. I felt it was very hard to live AND feel at the same time. It felt like a heavy burden. I could be about 16, 17 when I really couldn't cope with it anymore. So maybe my energy body knew how I felt, it happened spontaneously, but I wasn't allowed to leave my body yet.
Then later on I consciously was trying to leave my body (die in the sleep), I started to listen to those waves in my ears and that was when I had my conscious OBE and that was the time I realised I didn't want to die, that was the time I desperately wanted to KNOW what is there after we die and I started to learn.
Don't worry I am 31 now, feel absolutely fine;) and I think I am a bit settled, maybe the age thing. I am glad I couldn't leave my body or didn't do anything silly because I know I would just hang there somewhere in the darkness in low levels like those other energies.
I feel that I have a gift (I think we all have something in us) if we could call it like that, perhaps I prefer the term "being open and receptive" but I am still not ready to properly develop it or use it.
And I am deeply fascinated by all those sleep paralyses and lucid dreaming, especially because so many people is having them and many of them don't have an idea what's happening. If my colleague wouldn't mention the term "lucid dreaming" last year I would perhaps still wander on that gray border and had no information whatsoever. I have the sleep paralyses often.
Perhaps every time when our astral body is released (consciously or even unconsciously) we perceive those vibrations (I do sense it more like the waves and I've been listening to those waves since I was 17 or so). I am much older now, I could have been miles ahead now with my personal spiritual development, well, but I am not; mainly because I have stopped with all those things beyond and wanted to have a normal easy life like everyone else. But those who are empaths hardly have it easy anyway.
I feel like we have two linear lives and we need to be aware of both of them - every day living, spiritually getting up through our chosen path, living the 'good' life, interact in the best possible way AND the things beyond - the paranormal.
When I was a teenager it was draining me. I was always feeling like I was half here and half "There" - in the world of feeling and sensing. At some points I wasn't sure if I want to be rather here or "There". So I was mainly "There", unconsciously working on becoming even more receptive, playing with my senses when spending time on my own in deep meditation like states.
Then I started to date (19yrs!) and that was it, many other overwhelming stuff in my head. Last few years I was working on being "normal" and having a happy life according to what is the society's norm.
I am not fighting with the negativity but avoiding it or ignoring it as much as possible, concentrating on nice things, balancing my chakras, getting into the balance. Spending time and interacting with people who don't drain me. I innately want to help everyone but when no one asks I have learned just to watch, otherwise I got involved in their little dramas and could hardly get out and at the end I was perceived as an enemy. (That's not supposed to be complaining, that's served as a freezing fact for me.)
The last couple of weeks I feel I am back on track.
I had a dream yesterday night. I was on my ski and not remembering how to ski. I was standing there on the path someone went through already but it was covered with a layer of snow. After a few funny movements when I started to lose balance I was skiing like never before, I was very fast, running through the path in the forest. I was surprised myself. Then there was probably a way to go in front of me, but I intuitively turned to the left. There was a man, standing and his arms folded on the chest, like guarding that path. I could notice that there was a sudden end of the ski run, like you cut it off, behind him. I felt good, but I was really interested why there was the sudden end, I felt attracted to it. The dream didn't tell me more.
I feel that this was a personal message for me and I understand it somehow. And maybe at the end of the next week it would have even deeper meaning for me.
We are all constantly getting some friendly messages if we want to listen.
Maybe there is not reason to fly ahead and we should care more about the others while following the path...? Twice in the last three days I picked the Slowing Down in OSHO's Zen Tarot.
My very first two cards when I got the cards last week and I almost mentally picked them were Aloneness and No-thingness. Even after reading the paragraphs about them I wasn't surprised. Something I knew.
These cards are quite good aim to help you to interact with your real Self but they are not the typical tarot cards, although I have those as well. Future is just in our hands, although the path might be sketched in front of us. And unknown is terribly scary, at least for me, that's why no progress for the last 10 years, because of my fear.
To be honest, I am not really sure, if I want to astrally travel, yet. Although I have far more information about it now. I had some more experiences, where I was more or less out of my body or near it; released from/out of it and it was happening involuntarily. I am going to post my conscious OBE experience and that was the only one OBE I really wanted. Since then I was pushing it all away (exactly as you mentioned "forcing it" away, force myself to wake up or fall asleep), mostly because of the scary experiences my mind and fear had created.
Yeah, I think the spirits can't do you anything bad... Unless your fear allows them to do so (I have some dreadful experiences there as the examples, too).
Maybe that entity was charging the energy out from your fear.
I think when I was younger and felt depressed and overwhelmed by this world I was trying to seek the answers beyond. I started to be more open and receptive on more levels because I was attuning myself to it.
Then years later I've been desperately working on de-attuning myself. Why? I think there was far too much to soak in even in this touch-and-see world and I wasn't clearly ready for that other one. I have intuitive feeling that I would be contacted by lost souls/energies because I understand and have the inexplicable need to help. So everything is postponed and I am working on myself to be stronger and balanced on all levels.
Sorry it's so long. Typical me.
Thank you for connecting.
Love and blessings
M.