My name is Tony and I'm 27yrs old. Marine Corps Veteran and not a believer in faith or anything spiritual.
That being said, The spiritual part of me did a 180 in about 2 seconds once I "landed in my body". I've been absolutely terrified for the first time in a long time.
Nearly 3 years ago I suffered a tremendous injury that nearly took my life and left me with my left arm completely inoperable. At the release of my beat up body from the hospital, My friend Rajesh said his psychic told him to buy me a movie and to have me watch it 50 times, ONE DAY I'll understand it. She said I was strong mentally and spiritually". Honestly I took it as a confidence booster, kind of like "Keep your head up".
A month and a half ago I decided to have it amputated up to the middle of my humerus (Mid bicep). Successful Amputation a month ago. At the same moment I saw life differently, I finally loved me, for me.
The other evening I fell asleep thinking about my left hand. Thinking about how when I close my eyes I can still feel my fingers in detail. Then about how each pin prick is distinct, but yet it feels like I have millions of them. As if My brain has the map to which every coordinate has a designated nerve. All of the sudden I'm trying to look at what's going on in front of me. Every thing is light blue and there are grays in front of me. My vision is blurry, I decide to go on with whatever "this dream is". I realize it appears, I'm sorta able to see my body in front of me, face down and all I can see is my shoulders nothing below mid back. I'm covered, feel really cold with pressure, but then it felt as if it was a dream cause really "that can't be! I'm looking at me... (Wait what's going on right now?) It didn't seem as if it was an operation, but something I was there impart for. I listened to this taller Male on my left with clarity and the other person on my right. Some other things happened as well I could tell in detail.
All of the sudden BLURR and woosh, I thought my eyes were partially open, noticed I wasn't breathing... Half second... Took a breath and shot out to grab my phone. I'm terrified of what I just went through. Immediately started texting my most 2 trust worthy friends exactly what was coming to mind in detail, as fast as I can! I've got one hand and an iphone that I'd write college papers on. I refused to look anything up or research these details. *To be honest I was sitting there sweating tremendously. My buddy Nate sent me info on a doc after a little while and I researched it further. Turns out many of the things I heard are specifically what this doctor does. Including words I can't articulate cause I know nothing of the profession... Found in his research. Ex: Cell Kinetics, "in vivo"
I also kept getting the thought of Nashville.
At this point I'm so destroyed as to what's going on in my mind. Why? I don't do drugs, rarely drink, don't smoke, What the hell! So I spend all day thinking about it. I wanted to talk to someone that I knew was spiritual. Rajesh! He's got a psychic! So I called him, I asked to call his! He gave me her number and told me "Hey Tony I think you were supposed to do this" I said what, lose my arm? He said "yes, I just never told you cause I wanted you to keep your head up" I said "WTf Rajesh after 3 years you tell me" His reply was " I don't think time is relative, but you should figure what this is, this could be great for you."
Then it hits me! I was seeing myself basically draw up new particles to my arm from nerve impulses. Into something that looked like it was being kept in a cyrogenic setting... But also an Operating room? Perhaps my "thoughts were becoming things" with the supplemental medical aid that somehow allowed me to build/identify/bond to the rest of my arm through spiritual thought?
The movie I watched an honest 17-20 times was "The Secret" where the point of the movie can be summarized. "Thoughts become things."
The research I've done has just been amazing... How did I not know any of this!? But still found nothing on what it is that I should do next. I'm terrified of saying anything to this doctor, this is so far fetched I feel I'm not sane! I don't feel as if I can talk to anyone. My sister made a mockery of me. I can assure you I'm not here to tell a story. I feel like a zombie!
I've got screen shots of all my texts with time stamps. In my own way it's me saying this is my proof that I was completely unaware of how physically relative it was. I'm looking for help from someone well versed in this. Guidance, something! There's more to this! I'm fine without my arm! I don't even want a prosthetic! But then again I'd try it for science!?
I talked with my father with whom I rarely do, he informs me that he's very spiritual. That in his early twenties he "practiced shaman" (sp) or something like that. Loved all the we had to say. Assured me everything will be ok... Are you F'n kidding me!?
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