My name is Wade. Now the reason that I'm writing this is because I was wondering if anyone can help me? You see, I'm an empath, and an EXTREMELY strong one at that. You see, ever since I was a little kid I have been able to pick up on other people's emotions. I used to think nothing of it, that it was something that everyone could do, until I grew up a little and noticed this was not the case. This fact made me believe that I was different from other normal people, which I am. But this is not why I am writing. I'm 19 now and I'm about to start my sophomore year in college. Now, before I had moved to school and lived on campus I had had suspicions that I was an empath but I just thought that I was being crazy, until I went to school, but more on that later. Before I had moved to school I would pick up on others emotions, but not only that, my emotions would reflect everyone else's around me (typical empath stuff rite?). But here is where things started to take a turn for the worst... I'm sure that you all know that empathy works through the absorption of energy, and that at the end of the day empaths are tired and must be alone to recharge. Well when you live in a dorm with 100 other people and on a campus of about 5000, there is no place to go to be alone and recharge. Now this is where it gets weird and I need someone's advice. Due to this lack of being able to be alone and recharge, any normal empath would go crazy and be tired, irritable, and depressed all the time, but this isn't what happened to me... I seemed to thrive in it! From constantly absorbing others energy and them absorbing mine my abilities have advanced 10 fold and 10x the speed they normally would. I am able to do things now that no other empath that I have encountered in research over the past 2 years has or can do...
No longer do I adapt my emotions to those around me... I can literally FEEL their emotions as if their energy were hands moving my organs around in my body. I am now conscious of my own energy in my body and can feel it at all times, I can even move it around in my body. You know when you get nervous and you feel like there are butterflies in your stomach? Well I have that feeling all the time due to my own energy concentrated in my solar plexus. It feels like liquid fire coursing through every inch of my body.
But this is not all that I am able to do now. I can feel the dead, and sometimes even see them with my eyes. A friend of mine has hallucinations sometimes at night, and in my dorm are beds were adjacent with only a wall separating them, and whenever she would have hallucinations I would wake up abruptly, sit straight up in bed wide awake, and stare at the wall which she was right behind. These would all be confirmed by her the next day, that my abrupt waking up corresponded, to the minute, exactly when she had her hallucinations. I can sense other peoples spirit guides and I can see them in my head. I can call spirits to me. I can absorb other peoples energy consciously sometimes. This causes me to never be hungry and I go up to a week with out eating. I can now feel auras and then my mind interprets them into colors. When I FEEL a strong enough emotion lights will flicker on and off around me around me (like actual electric lights like lamps and stuff). I have become magnetic to people. They find my energy irresistible and gravitate to me (I have found recently, this summer, that people can't resist me both as a friend and sexually) I have started having predictions that have come true just based on feelings I get out of the blue. This is to the point where I have violent tremors, feel nauseous, sweat, and have a fever. And I know, and I don't know how I know I just do, that something really bad is going to happen, and it always does. I have predicted the deaths of people in my high school, my parents divorce, my best friends attempted suicide, and much more. And now, even weirdest of all, when talking to my best friend recently about my growing empathic abilities, he mentioned how jealous he was of my abilities and how he wished he could experience it, and I just happened to say "I wish that you could feel this way, and just exactly how weird empathy feels". And now, he is starting to feel energy as well, and I can't help but think that I did that to him.
I ask you all this. WHAT THE HELL AM I? I'm an empath I know that, but have I been wrong in thinking that and I am really something else, or have my abilities just evolved at an alarming rate? I need your guy's help, because even other empaths who I thought that I could take solace in because they were like me, I now feel no connection to because my abilities are now different from theirs, or mine have evolved to far beyond theirs. I really need help, sometimes the emotions that I FEEL from other people in my body, physically hurt! If anyone could offer any insight to my problem I would be eternally grateful. Or if anyone has any links to websites with reported cases that are similar to mine, that would be great. I just really need to know that there are others out there like me, who can do the things that I can do.
I'm going to take the time to state that many empathic types are like this/ can be like this.
Being around many college kids can drive the energy to that direction.
When I was young, it felt like I had a star burning in my chest, and I could through will power, push my body well beyond physical limits, and I could, without paying much active attention to what was being said, recite word for word what was just said.
It's also a very delicate phase to maintain.
What happened to me was that the first girlfriend Iever had in my life cheated on me, then dumped me when I decided to forgive her.
Obviously, being a empath, I was strongly connected to her.
Obviously, it was not good.
Just imagine having to fight against yourself, especially when you are considered a exceptional person.
Just imagine every win being a loss.
If you can avoid that pitfall, and maintain it, good. IT's a very powerfulstate to be in.
The next bit of warning Ihave is this.
Yes, right now you can go without eating. You can go without sleeping.
You can shrug off just about anything and everything.
BUT your physical body still has physical limits.
When I was 16 years old, I was hospitalized for heart problems.
I went from being stronger, faster, and smarter than everyone else... To having trouble maintaining physical activity for more than 10 minutes.
I pushed my physical body too hard.
Everything has a cost in some way, shape, or form.
Not all costs are paid immediately.
Beyond that, what you decsribed is... I won't say it's common for every empathic person... But it's not super rare either.
In my experience, empaths can gain abilities from other people around them.
When I spend a large amount of time around people, I start talking like them, acting like them, and making choices like them.
Another thing to pay specific attention to is that, even though you are more sensitve to the intake of energy... Everyone, wether they are considered psyhic or not, does the same thing.
Also... If you put energy into rocks or objects... The earth doesn't really take care of it, it just leaks out to people and plants and animals nearby.
The earth deals with the base energies of our particles, not the psuedo energies of our psyche.
It also seems like the best conductor for any divine or heavenly spirit is the air itself. Anything too phsyical is typically too base and too grounding.
In short, be aware that any choice to enhance yourself to the degree in this story, and to stay at that degree, would likely have some sort of heavy toll on your body, and would likely need a large deal of babysitting to keep in the goldilocks zone.