Where do I start or how should I begin? I've been given this gift and this curse of living as a Shaman. My journey started few years ago in my little one bedroom apartment of course I've always knew there was something about me that attracted the thoughts of others. When I first moved to this apartment, I knew I was not alone. I felt the present of a little girl who must have died in the closet of my bedroom. I just figure we both can coexist together because I didn't feel any negative energy from her. As the months went, things started to change. I started hearing her, she would tried to have conversations with me which I would ignored.
Then one night I felt really tired so I slept early at about closed to 10:00 p.m., this really loud scream of a woman being dragged into the across apartment woke me up. She was screaming for my help, somehow she got loose and knock on my door, asking me to let her in. At first I wanted to call the police but, then I asked myself, what if I was only imagining all this, what would I tell the police? So I told myself I would wait because if I heard it my neighbors must had too. As I listen on she was dragged to the apartment across from mind and gotten her throat slashed. I waited for any police arrival, but there was none so I force myself back to sleep. My alarm woke me up and I left for work the next morning. I check for blood stain but there was none. Later on that night as I walked into my apartment I knew something was wrong, usually the little girl would meet me, instead she was hiding in the closet like she was scare of someone or something.
As night filled I had a bad feeling that there was more of us in my apartment. I just pushed that thought into the back of my mind and went to sleep anyway. I tossed and turn couldn't fall asleep, in this processed my eyes open to a woman standing at the bottom of my bed looking at me at the moment my body tensed up and it froze on me. I can hear and see what was going on around me yet couldn't move to defend myself. The woman that I saw came around my bed and lay next to me. I was so scared all I could do was to closed my eyes and force my body to ignore her. This when on for awhile then I dosed off. This process went on for a few weeks, finally I couldn't take it anymore so I call up a Shaman. He knew what was wrong and told me I should seek help from a spiritual guide or else I might go crazy. So I went and pick him up, he came and cast out the woman and the little girl in my apartment, and left me two dragon statues as guardian. He told me I should light white candle for them. Things were better after the performing and then one night as I was lighting up the candle for them, they spoke to me. They said I was gifted and it won't be long before I'll have to do the work of a Shaman. It was true, not too long after I become a shaman.
Ever since then I helped many others who are tormented by demon or just in need of healing for the body and soul. I've also call back a few loved ones for some friends and family members of mine. For many years I brought light to those that were in the dark and helped many to find their ways again, it felt good to be able to be there for them. Now, why do I call it a curse when I'm able to bring happiness to other, well while I was a helping hand for others things around me fill apart, it seems like each time I helped someone I brought that unhappiness into my own home. It's like I can help others but not myself. Now, I stand broken and alone, my wife just left not too long ago and it's seem that problem surrounding me just keeps growing. What I don't understand is that why is all this happening to me? I asked, but there's no answer so I came to accept the fact that this is the life of a Shaman. Maybe, we are not meant to have joy and peace, and I'm only here to lead to way for the broken to be heal and the lost to be found. Can anyone enlighten me?
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