I don't really know where to begin as I just stumbled across the definition of my abilities earlier today. I guess a good place to start would be to explain that as recently as 5 hours ago I was contemplating taking my own life. That may seem abrupt or harsh but please try to understand my circumstances.
I feel everything, all the time! I mean physically feel the emotional state of everyone in a room. An angry person can make me lash out unexpectedly and a depressed person simply makes me not want to live. While on the contrary if someone with a beautiful happy energy walks in I can flip immediately into that state.
To say the least this is very frustrating and overwhelming. Not to mention it physically drains me of all my personal energy needed to function day to day.
I have been dealing with this all my life, I can remember being a very young child (somewhere between the ages of 4 and 7) and being frustrated at the lack of control I had over myself. I would relate these feelings to being a puppet on strings. My child's mind perceiving that there must be some wicked control freak puppeteer having a hayday playing with me.
As a teenager I contemplated death on a regular basis, even tried to follow through a couple of times and once it landed me in the psycho ward of my local hospital. After several visits with the child shrink he declared me a human sponge! Though it meant little to me at the time I can look back now and say he was pretty spot on!
A human sponge, now at 30 years old those words finally mean something to me, psychic empath. After hours of searching the web today looking for a way to stop feeling other peoples emotions and block out the messages that come along (mostly from people I am very close to) I have discovered these terms and fit every description on every site to a tee. I am a psychic empath! And I am elated to find out that I am not alone and not crazy:)
A little evidence for my case? Well there is the fact that almost daily I can think of a person and they will within minutes call me. Down to the most random people, two days ago I picked up a business card from my bedroom floor, it belonged to my sons soccer coach from the year before, I looked at it and thought "I'm not going to need this anymore so I threw it in the trash. Before I could walk back to place on the floor where the card had been laying my phone began to ring! I knew upon the first ring it would be him, the soccer coach, but how? And why? Coincidence? Anyhow he called to invite my son to this years rep tryouts. Which is all fine and dandy but seriously I hadn't thought of the man in almost a year, stumble across his card and bam he calls?
So that was the most recent of my many "coincidental" experiences. There are many many more but I fear I've rambled enough thus far.
What I really hope to gain from posting my story here is some help learning to control my abilities and block out all the energies and emotions that plague me everyday.
I am desperate to feel my own emotions and gain control of my life. I have three children and they need me, I know, but it's sad to say that even they can overwhelm me with their emotions to the point that I want to dig a hole in the ground to hide in.
My empathy is so strong that I can even walk into a random place and know before I look up who is smiling and willing to communicate and who is negative and walled off. I am affected all day everyday and I need help.
Everyone on this site seems open minded and knowledgeable and I look forward to hearing from all of you!