I don't know what to do. Maybe I'm just freaking myself out for no reason. I just want to know if all this is true or not... I have a load of dejavu experiences all of the time. Sometimes I've seen something play out previously in a dream as well. It's just strange.
I normally don't remember my dreams unless they occur. Not only that I get visions. They normally just come on there own and it just happens so quickly that it doesn't even interrupt what I'm doing. I can force them too. My friend wanted to test me once so she asked me for a vision. I told her that she was going to be kissing someone within the next month leaning back over against a dark blue or black car, but that I wasn't really sure of the color because it was dark out. The only light was from the house. She stared at me like I was crazy but then two weeks later it came true. It freaked me out I told her that I was never searching for her again. It was just too weird.
Not only do I see the future but the present and the past as well. Once I was just hanging with my friend and for a two week period I kept getting a vision of her being intimate with some guy I'd never seen before. It grossed me out to say the least. I just ignored it.
This years (that was last year) she told me that she had been pregnant about a year ago and that she had had a miscarriage. I was stunned. I had been right. My mind had tried to force me to make the connection so that I could help her. I wasn't quick enough.
I'm afraid to hear about what's happened to people because when I do I see or experience it as if I was there. It's creepy and it takes longer then when I see the future of the present. I have never been wrong when I see any of these. It scares me. I feel like nothing matters because it's all preplanned. It's already set to happen. What does anything matter?
Sorry I'm really down today. My entire family is sad so I'm really feeding off of it. I don't get it. Everything that everyone does affects me. My aunts mad= I suddenly want to punch something. My friend is sad= I want to scream and cry. I also get feelings about things. I just know when someone is lying to me or when they're sad and feigning happiness. I just know. I can tell. I just don't get it.
I just want to be normal and live my life. Every time one of theses things happen everything changes.
I'm sorry that this jumps around so much. I'm just trying to make sense of it all and I'm having a difficult time explaining properly. If someone could explain to me what's going on I would be so happy. I just want to understand.
SO what do you think? Am I crazy... Or what?
You are most definitely not crazy, and there isn't anything wrong with you. Our abilities are neither good or bad, they just are. I am empathic since childhood, so it is second nature for me to not touch anyone. I would not even realize that I didn't touch anyone until someone touched me and then I knew exactly what they wanted or was thinking of. Yes, you get emotions and sometimes it is very strong, but you need to realize that it is not all you. People broadcast as well and sometimes, so strongly that they leave impressions of the feeling behind.
But I have found that the gift is not one-sided. Two strong emotions cannot really exist in the same space at the exact same time and love is stronger than any feeling. Tap into a memory that fills you up with love and send the love to the source of the original emotion. I can just summon the feeling now, but that is because I have had much practice. If you do not know how to send it via energy or concentration, a hug would do it. The person feels better and so do you. A lot of people think I am crazy because I hug people a lot now, but they don't complain. You get back what you send out, so it is all good.
Secondly, not every feeling of deja vu has merit. Sometimes our lives take on a lot of similar routines. Then again, empaths can pick up a lot more than emotions from people, we sense things about them and in some cases, if you are like me, before you meet them. I dream people before I meet them sometimes and when I meet them, they almost always think they have known me or saw me before as well. I once spent an entire afternoon with a co-worker, trying to figure out where we could have met before. I was assigned to be her instructor and we both felt as though we met before, we have yet to figure it out as she spent most of her life in another country.