I have always been very sensitive; quick to anger and quick to cry. I suppose this comes from the emotional instability I find myself in most days. I am not an extremely outgoing person, but I really enjoy spending time with close friends and family members. Group settings always bring about something interesting. However, unless I've gotten used to the presence of another person I find it really difficult to interact with them as myself on even a basic level. This is especially true for when they are feeling particularly angry, happy, depressed, or even awkward. I feel like I'm at batting cage and I'm left standing in the middle with a ball flying at my face and no bat to hit it away. I'm just naturally hyper-aware of everything about them and sometimes it's difficult to take a step back and just breathe. Once I've attuned myself to their presence, it usually becomes easier to push the more base feelings and impressions I get to the back of my mind.
I have always had this penchant for picking up emotions and impressions from others and my surroundings. People seem to get comfortable around me very easily, it doesn't take long for new acquaintances and friends to start voicing their problems/concerns or ask for advice.
I have never spoken with another 'empath' in person before, but my family is very open about these kinds of things and anything I might have exhibited as a child was encouraged. To them, psychic experiences and the like have been a part of their lives for as long as anyone can remember. I suppose this is why I get confused sometimes when someone admits to not knowing until they were older that they were psychic. I must be lucky.
Sometimes I feel like the cable station on a T.V. That's a few seconds ahead of the same channel on the T.V. At the other end of the house. Somehow I just know what someone's going to say or do sometimes, or when I'm about to get a call or a text. Usually when I think about someone that I haven't spoken to or seen on a while, they'll contact me within a couple days. Or if I want to hear a song or watch something that hasn't been on in a while (or ever, in the case of a foreign band they never played on the radio here), like magick, it's on the next station I flip to.
I've been very attuned to death and dangerous situations, and I think this stems from the death of my mother when I was only a few years old. My grandmother once told me that on the day that my mother died I begged my mother to stay home and when she refused I kicked and screamed all the way to daycare. I was always a very well behaved child, so you can imagine the surprise my actions garnered. Tragically, my mother did die in a car accident minutes after she dropped my little sister and I off. When we were picked up and brought home by my grandmother later, not an unusual occurrence, I distinctly remember turning to my sister in the car and telling her "Mummy's dead now, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love us anymore." Naturally, my grandmother was shocked, she hadn't yet told us the news. Other, similar experiences have occurred over the years with the deaths of different family members and just recently with a friend's father.
I try not to think of my clairsentience as a burden, but as a blessing. Yes, it does make life a bit more of a challenge at times, but I wouldn't be who am I today with out it.
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