Losing Psychic Abilities

I came across your site yesterday and found it so interesting. I have a question that I just can't answer for myself. I'll try to keep it brief so as to not bore anyone. =)

In no way would I feel comfortable saying that I have psychic abilities. I have, since I was young, been able to feel bad or good things coming, but no exact feelings about when or how. Up until I was 24, I would get dreams that acted as premonitions. I'd know if someone was pregnant without being told, just from my dreams.

Also, I would wake up in the middle of the night saying that family members were in labor, even if it was premature, and I was right every time. I used to look up at the clock at 11:11 every day, no matter where I was. It wasn't a good feeling that I would get about it, it was dread. And for years before turning 24, I'd wake up around 2:40 a.m. Feeling the same dread.

I also used to feel someone come and sit on my bed and I'd open my eyes and nobody would be there, but it was a comforting feeling not a scary one. I can't explain that at all.

When I turned 24, I had a baby and my grandfather died, all in the same week. My grandfather was much like a father to me and helped raise me from the time I was born. We were always connected. Here's the weird thing. He died on November 11th (11-11) at 2:40 in the morning. 5 minutes before the phone call came that my grandpa had passed, I became very ill and started vomiting. When the phone rang, I knew it was that he had passed.

My grandpa was Cherokee Indian. My grandma used to say he was so dramatic because if someone sickly or angry or depressed came around him, he would become ill himself and lay in bed for days. If he was in public in a crowded place, he easily got headaches or anxiety. He also claimed to see shadow figures and receive warnings. This was all blown off by the family as my grandpa being dramatic and now that I look back, I think he may have been a sensitive or an empath (?).

Before we knew my grandpa was dying, he put his hand on my pregnant belly and told me that I was going to have myself a nice boy and I should tell him that his great-grandpa touched him. At the time, I thought, "Why don't you just tell him yourself?" He passed away a few months later, one week before my son was born.

So to make a growing story short, the loss of my grandpa and the birth of my son were too overwhelming for my body to continue functioning. It felt as though a part of me was ripped away and I had never felt so incomplete without my g-pa. I started having major panic attacks and depression. I basically went through a 3 month period where I just had a nervous breakdown. My son gave me the strength to pull back into life and I have been recovered for 5 years now. I am still on anti-depressants.

All of that being said, after the nervous breakdown and the death of my grandpa, I have no premonitions. No good feelings, no bad feelings. No waking up at certain times and no noticing the clock. It's all gone.

My questions are these: Could I have somehow been linked with my grandpa and once he passed, I couldn't feel anything on my own anymore? Or did my nervous breakdown somehow block any ability I may have had?

I recently was very sick for 9 weeks and I was scared to death that something was very wrong with me. I had the most vivid dream where my grandpa came and walked into the room just to give me a big hug. I could even still smell the way he used to smell, which is the first time I recall smelling anything in a dream. He said, "Everything will be ok." I recovered shortly after.

Now my almost 6 year old son came to me and said that there was a face in his room, looking at him. Now remember that he was never around my grandpa, but he described everything about him. I didn't give any hints as to who I thought it was, and my son says, "Mom, I think it was your pop-pop and I wasn't even scared."

Another weird thing that has never happened to me until last summer, was that my grandma on my dad's side passed away. We had a family picnic 5 days later out in the woods. I got a chill, super dizzy, and felt this pressure around me like a hug. It lasted maybe 7 or 8 seconds and then lifted.

What in the world is going on with me?! My son?! Any insight would be welcomed.