My name is Kylan and ever since I was a small child I'd been interested in things as of magic and fantasy type things. And as I started to turn into a young adult, I noticed that everything in the books I read and the movies I saw wasn't just fantasy or a myth, but things of that could live in my attic or even posses one of my friends.
I don't believe that anything out of the "ordinary" has ever happened to me, but what really is "ordinary" anyway? I am not sure if I'm psychic, but that's the reason that I think I shouldn't assume and ask more of people that has experienced things that maybe I have or understand what I am going through.
Well maybe I should start from when I was a child.
Ever since I was about 8 as I could remember, I would get so scared of being in the dark by myself. The memories of me seeing things move in the shadows of my mothers room while I sat crying in my own well lit room, with my covers wrapped around myself. At that age I was always taught to pray whenever I was scared. I prayed and prayed, but still I could feel things. Even as we speak, I never feel as though I'm truly alone. I get this sudden buzz that sits in my ears and I feel a density through out my whole body, when I'm in the dark. I do see things in the shadows, but whenever I look to closely, the image of whatever is in the dark disappears, and I just turn and stare out the window, hoping that I can fall asleep without having to force it upon myself.
As I slowly got older I noticed that, I wasn't interested in what the other boys were interested to. They where all into football, and sports, some where into books and games (though I was into games to), but me not so much. In fifth grade is when I started to noticed signs that I was gay. Like the only people I hung out with was girl, my voice was always soft, and I cried easily. Just the rumor of someone not liking me or even "hating" me made me cry. Getting a bad grade. I cried. Someone taking my pencils. Sadly. I cried. Though I was always a very kind person, I would go through episodes where sometimes I might have even been a little out of it, where I would throw tantrums. Into middle school, is where things started to change.
Again, being the youngest of the bunch. I was so insecure, I didn't know most of the people and I didn't know who to talk to and who to trust with my secrets. Not only me being Homosexual, which I didn't tell anyone, but things like my fear of being alone.
Skipping into 8 grade, which I believe was sort of a click for me. Me, realizing that there's more to me then I think. This was the year I came out. First my best friend, then my best friend grandmother, she told me not to tell my parent but I thought it was something I should tell them.
I should have listened. They caused me more pain, then I have felt ever before in my whole life. I told my dad first, then my mom. My dad took it to more of upon himself not being a good father and the best thing was to do was, go through my things but not only that separate me from my friends (all of them), and making myself feel less then nothing. My mom took it to a religious place. Thought it was just a phase and the devil was working his way through me for her and my dad having sex without being married. I started to keep things in. This was when. The weird things happened.
I though about suicide and running away. I'd lock myself in the bathroom and cry my eyes out. Though that's not what surprised me. It was an Electricity thing. Most of the time in this "chapter" of mine, if I turned on a light it the bulb would go out, I didn't know why this happened, though I thought it was just the lights getting old, the light in my bathroom after when ever my dad and I had a fight and I took a shower. I'd be really angry. And the bulb would pop. Then I'd get scared because I was in the bathroom, in the dark, by myself. But it didn't only happen at home, I had issues at school to.
Doorknobs! They were my worse enemy! I couldn't open a door without the door shocking me. I would have to cover my hands with the hoodie sleeve in order to stop myself from getting shocked. Still to this day, I use my hoodie sleeve to cover my hands for the fear of being shocked.
Going into my Freshmen year of high school. I started to understand a little the paranormal that goes on in the world, without understanding myself or even knowing if I have gifts. With the occasional seeing the future in my dreams, and understanding peoples pain without being them I really doing know if I have any abilities.
My mother told me a story about something that happened to me when I was a child. I was locked in a truck, for I don't know how long, but I doing know if anything happened to me while I was in locked inside. She said the heat was locked on high, and I cried and cried. Though I was "Supposedly" with my father, and she was a home. She drove all the way to get me out. Maybe I am over thinking it, but would it be possible if while I was in the car something happened to me. I'm not sure what, but the thought of that moment plays over and over again in my head like its important.
I would like to know what you guys think, as far as me being psychic. I'd also liked for someone or people to help me by telling me what I should do, or giving me exercises for what you think I could do. If you'd like to help me, I could give my aim or email. Thanks to all!
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