Most do not believe me: And I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I don't believe myself. I don't believe I'm doing this but I need help. Serious help, I think.
The age of 6 was when everything started. I don't know what happened but I woke up and I could see extra things. I just thought it was something I had never paid attention to. It started with auras, and worked its way to things you see in fairy tales and hear about in stories. The first I saw was an imp. He was traveling through my house apparently. It was weird like a decayed flying monkey with arms twice as long as the body. And the odd thing was, I could see it but my dad never reacted. I thought it was one of those don't talk to strangers deals. I was wrong.
The world changed at that point. What people call ghosts, demons, imps, trolls, angels, even devils, would become a daily occurrence to me. I was an outcast to the normal kids because of it. I would be seen talking to thin air and walls and seen falling out of my seat because something scared me. Everyone cast me as the oddball and teachers would not like me because I acted so rashly at something that was nothing.
My story starts not there but just 2 years ago. Until then I obediently thought that I was something more. I could see auras, creatures no one has ever seen and I was special. I had awakened a second soul inside of me that was supposed to be asleep. It gave me abilities such as sight. And it gave me memories of my past lives. Our two souls melded into one. Memories passed. Atlantis was my first. I remember war and turmoil in that one. Then Japan; fair amount of turmoil there. Then England, and Ireland after that. Finally back to Japan and after that, here. All of this was wondrous I felt like I was a person that would amount to be a part of a world cataclysmic event. I wanted that. I wanted to be a hero since the age of seven.
Two years ago I met a psy-vampire that was having large and seemingly dangerous nightmares. She came to me as a wiccan to ask me about anything that could help. I gave her an angelic wall seal and it didn't work. She came to me again and I did research. Apparently, her past lives traced to the same area of Atlantis as mine did and her nightmares were memories. This drove us into a large investigation and finally it ended with me spilling everything I previously thought a secret onto her. She told me she believed me.
I won't tell all the details but it ended in me denying everything. I think I'm a schizoid but the thing is, I can feel the touch of the ghosts. If they push me, they don't go through. They actually push me over. The more I denied them the more solid they became. Soon I could not even tell physical people from ghosts. No translucent skin what-so-ever.
The next issue I have is immense bloodlust. Milk quails it so the bloodlust not looking for iron. And seeing blood will just as easily stop the bloodlust. That almost never happens anymore. My friend says I'm a seng-vampire and I see things because my lust has not been satisfied with another's blood. She offered to be my donor but I keep refusing. How can I make another person draw blood for my own selfish ploys?
The fact that I see auras is true. It's plausible since people everywhere do it. But what of my memories? Are they simply fabricated or are they truly mine?
Finally the next problematic evidence, I know the governments of the non-material worlds governing our afterlife. Confusing? I know. I don't believe it myself. But there are four non-material worlds after death. Each of us has a second soul sleeping inside of us and when we die, the two souls meld into one. That soul is of a certain, for lack of a better word, ethnicity. Angels, demons, spirits, and devils, in comparison to the human terminology. And each has a world that they connect through. This is unbelievable but I find them in memories. This is what I know, and what I deny with all my heart, as my brain cannot do so.
This story ultimately adds to 3 questions. Am I psychic? Am I crazy? And the third;
Do you believe the words of a man who doesn't believe himself?
I'm pleading... Someone tell me what I am. I have tried so many sites and never found anyone that believes me and never found anyone like me. I want to know. Am I crazy?
I've always been taught that there's a Heaven and a hell. And that I'm only going to end up in one or the other. And that God is in Heaven along with the angels, and that the devil (Satan) is in hell along with demons... I hadn't even heard about there being other dimensions until I got to this website. So I'm still taking that in. But I'm not going to say that you're insane (I don't think you are) and disagree with this but I'm also not going to agree with it either, right now. So the only thing I can really be sure of is God. I know he exists and I believe in him...
And in your comment, you said "I digress this is getting far to religious and I'm straying from what I know as hard information". It's just about impossible to talk deeply about something without getting "far too religious" because it seems that everything is tied/ connected to religion. Maybe because God created everything, therefore it's connected to him in some way?...
So, I'm sort of just going on and on so I guess I'll end my comment with a question. I've seen the word "pagan" a lot, and I saw where you said that you were one, so what is a pagan?
Thanks. ๐
P.S.- Sorry about the comment being all jumbled. I had a lot to say and it just didn't come out right. Some was here and some was there. ๐