Meditation Malfunction

This "story" I suppose will be a tad long, so I hope someone reads it all the way through. For starters, I'd say that I've always been drawn to the spiritual realm, and probably manifested around the age of 5 or so. I can't necessarily recall having anything happen directly, but as I got older, I remember seeing, hearing, and feeling spiritual presences. My parents were quite religious growing up, and I didn't have any kind of guidance or person that I could go to per se with these "problems." As a teen I always found myself being drawn to spirits as well, and now in my early twenties, I'm just now trying to sort all of this out. A few months back, I was with a close friend. He had wanted to contact his deceased grandfather, so I agreed to try to contact him (I had no prior experience at this time). So I googled the fastest way to do so. I used candles, and salt. I initially started trying to talk to said spirit. Nothing happened, so I said goodbye, blew out the candle and just sort of gave up. However, I didn't realize that my friend had in fact lit another candle across the room. Well about this time, I look diagonally to him, and see a figure. It was hazy, and then I lost my vision. I couldn't see anything, but I just kept hearing a man gasping for air, and an oxygen tank depleting. When I finally came to, I was hysterical in tears, and my friend had been shaking me. He said that I had went into a seizure like state, and was unresponsive. I proceeded then to tell him what had happened, and he started crying. He said his other grandfather (the one we WEREN'T trying to contact) died because he was taken off of oxygen and his father and uncles watched him take his last few breaths. Well this is where I'd say that my spiritual awakening began. Since then, I've been trying to learn all that I can, and do all I can to awaken my abilities. However, I'm truly terrified. Apart from that experience, I've had several others in the past. Being a naive college student, and doing fads that probably shouldn't be done, several of my other friends and I had played a game called "Red Door Yellow Door." Which is essentially a game where you astral project or meditate into the spirit realm I guess. Well every time I would play, I would see a dark haired woman. I don't get a feeling that she's evil, nor good. But every time she states that she "can see me." This terrifies me to no end. I know that as a potential medium, I am beacon. I draw any and every spirit. But, how/why does this one particular spirit keep showing up? I don't believe she's a spirit guide, nor a protector of some sort. And when I meditate, although not often (because of fear), I see what I perceive to be evil spirits. I don't want to continue to develop my abilities if all I draw in is evil spirits. I try my best to be uplifting, positive, kind, generous, etc. My intentions are also pure. So I'm confused as to why I'm getting all of these negative energies when I meditate. This has also put a halt on me developing my mediumship abilities further because I'm just too scared to let something in if I'm being targeted. So I'm very stuck emotionally and spiritually and I feel like I can't turn to anyone because I feel as if they can't relate or would harshly judge me, thus causing me to write this extensive and probably extremely boring story on here. I'd greatly appreciate it if someone could help me, give me answers, or even some advice. I'm extremely humbled to be apart of this community, even if I still have a lot to learn, and I don't want to be scared away. I'd very much like It to develop these abilities, and not shy away from something that I had suppressed for so many years already. I will take anything and everything said with the utmost amount of respect. Bless all of you, and thank you ever so much.