I have always been kind of different in contrast to my friends or family. I have been able to see, feel and hear spirits from a young age.
These particular gifts made my parents uncomfortable I guess, and because of that I never really had much of a support system with these kinds of issues. So it all was kind of hush-hush, taboo even, to bring it up, resulting in strong paranoia, anxiety, anger, confusion, and the feeling of being alone.
However, it had never been anything more than that. I would occasionally see a spirit. I would watch and listen to them mumble incoherent things, perhaps even observe them interacting with other spirits. It never bothered me - they never bothered me. It was almost like the roles were reversed, I could see them but they couldn't see me. Or if they could see me, they didn't care I was there.
That all changed though, in my teen years. My ability jumped and progressed at an alarming rate once I hit 15. But it wasn't just my ability to notice spirits. I began to develop other sensitivities and talents that actually really horrified and amazed me.
Today I would like to share my discovery of what I call "flashes". There may be a more proper term for this talent, but what label it may go by I couldn't tell you. Maybe somebody out there can name it for me?
I actually discovered this ability through a lock, although I have been able to apply it to other situations. I was in tenth grade, so I was about 16 years old.
I never really used my locker, mostly because I never got a lock for it, though why I never got one I have no idea. This was super inconvenient because I ended up needing to develop a buddy system in order to store my books close to my respective classes.
I hated that. It would have been easier for everybody if I could just use my own locker, but being in the situation I was in concerning dealing with psychic gifts in a place where I had no support system made me feel very delicate about the idea of trying to communicate with my parents - even if it was to ask for a lock so I could use my locker.
At this point my very best friend could drive so I would ride with her to and from school rather than taking the bus or disturbing my parents with possibly driving me places. So everyday after school I would wait for her. She is really smart and would often stay after class to chat with some teachers if she had questions or to avoid all the traffic of the students and faculty leaving the premises.
While waiting for her at her locker one day, I just happened to look down and I noticed a small black lock in the hallway. I picked it up of course, figuring I could just google how to reset a lock combination when I got home, and use it for my own locker.
It was an odd lock though. It wasn't the dial kind, where you spend the knob in the middle to match certain numbers. It was long and thin, with a gold hook, latched. The really odd part was that it had 3 little dials on its side with engraved numbers on them ranging from 0 to 9, that you could twist around to get a 3 digit combination. I had never seen a lock like that before this specific situation.
I thought it was interesting because I had never seen a lock like that before. Even though it wasn't the kind of dial lock I initially assumed it was when I saw it from a distance, I decided to put it in my pocket anyway.
My friend showed up, we went out to the car and once we were on our way I decided to show her the lock. Like I said I had never seen one like this before so I wanted to ask her about it. Turns out she had seen one before and in fact had used one with the same basic design as a bike lock. The difference was that hers was a word lock and had 5 dials with different letters on it, and didn't have numbers like this one had.
For whatever reason, I found that running my fingers over the spinning dials was a good anxiety exercise, so as I sat in the passage seat, I fidgeted with the lock and listened to her prattle on about some website she was interested in.
It didn't take long for me to zone out and start focusing on the lock. I had the idea that this kind of lock may be difficult to hack as opposed to the typical spin dial kind. I messed with the dial a few times, entering random numbers and hoping I would get lucky, always re-positioning the dials back to "000" after every failed attempt.
And so here is the weird part. The discovery.
It was almost like instinct. I shut my eyes, my mind went blank, and I recall seeing distinct blackness. Then out of nowhere I saw the numbers "239" clear as day. Like I was looking at a yellow and black photograph. There was nothing else with it, just a flash of those numbers, there and gone within seconds. I immediately opened my eyes, and before I could comprehend what I was doing, I had set the 3 digit combination and the lock popped right open.
I recall the thrill of that. I excitedly looked over at my friend with a huge grin on my face, displaying the open lock for her to see, and excitedly exclaiming that these random numbers just popped into my head and somehow it just happened to be the correct combination of numbers to open the lock.
I don't think she believed me at that point, even though she is the most supportive person I have in my life currently.
I have been able to get these flashes a few times after that incident. The issue is that, unlike picking that lock, they just kind of happen without instigation. Just really random floods of information in the form of quickly vanishing images.
I could understand it happening with the lock - I really needed a lock for my locker, I found the new kind of lock that it was to be interesting in design, and I sincerely wanted to know the combination so I could use it. It was an attention holding object that I could actually touch.
But I have done this flash thing with everything from a discarded tooth pick I saw on a table in a restaurant to animals and people who I most definitely was not touching or focusing on.
I have no idea how to control it, induce it, or what a name for this kind if thing could even be. Any advice?
I still have the lock. I never used it for my locker by the way.
However, the idea did cross my mind. There doesn't seem to be anything particularly divine about the flashes that would or could clue me in as to where they may come from, though.
I have gotten extremes on both ends of the spectrum but nothing to justify a notion of divinity. So I'm not all that confident that it may be a thing from "above" offering communication.
Because nothing strikes me as heavenly, angelic, demonic, godly etc. And I am not too confident where they could come from or why they could happen, I have not ruled it out, but I'm not sure how much I agree or am comfortable with the thought.
They just kind of happen, anything and everything triggers them, and they are about super random stuff.
As for meditation, again that isn't really my thing. But I have tried it on and off for several years (consistently for about 3 years at a time). I never seem to get any results in this area, and the one time something did happen (the last time I got really into it and felt like I was actually making minute progress) it was a rather negative experience, so I'm a bit concerned about trying it out again.
I have tried other methods, though, that seem to work for my other abilities so far. It's just this particular thing that I can't seem to really get the hang of.
Thank you for your input:D