What Is Our Purpose. Nde

This is pretty cliche, but ever since I was little I've known I was different. I grew up in a religious family, but started questioning EVERYTHING when I was 12. I looked around and felt alone because it seemed as if my friends were brainwashed and didn't see things like I did. I loved animals and loved nature but my NY surroundings kind of pressed that free-spirited personality of mine. Something happened one summer that totally changed me. I'm not going to say what, but I grew so angry that I wanted to change myself completely. I stopped with nature, animals, even stopped eating my favorite snacks, or watch my favorite shows. I knew I had naturally psychic abilities (empathy, clairvoyance) since I was young but decided to suppress them in hopes they'd go away. Over the years though, I've healed my wounds and now my abilities are re-emerging. Last year I started my first year at college. I'm a total jock that loves working out, EDM music, and traveling but the school I went to was a performing arts school. It was mostly LGBTQ, had one soccer team, a group of feminists, and stoners. So I went with the stoners and one night accidentally overdosed on a highly concentrated form of THC. I HATE drugs. Hate them. I can't even eat McDonalds, that's how in tune I am with my body and health. But I was desperate to have friends. The overdose happened like this: I started getting really nauseas. I ran to the bathroom and started puking my brains out until suddenly, starting from my feet, I felt my body go numb. I remember falling backwards and closing my eyes. I was conscious but couldn't move my body. It started buzzing and felt like It was on fire. The worst pain imaginable. My friends came in the room and one of them held me. He tried shaking me but every time he touched me it felt as if someone was stabbing me. I couldn't tell him to stop though because I couldn't move my lips. My perception changed and then everything went quiet. I realized I stopped breathing. For those of you that have not astral projected, or had an OBE, this feeling of not having to breath is like nothing else. Its amazing yet appalling. It's as if your body is absorbing the air and it doesn't have to go through your throat. All of a sudden I separated from my body. I was able to see my friend holding me, crying, and girls in the room next door, but all at the same time. Then I heard an endline (like the one from the hospital when someone dies). I saw myself being dragged along a grave. Then I was looking up at doctors. They were nervous and I knew I was dying. I saw my mom and sister crying. Then I starting soaring upwards, I was leaving Earth. I couldn't see anyone/ an entity, but I felt a presence and It started showing me something. I saw the world (almost like watching a movie) and that humanity was in trouble. I was shown that originally we were at peace. But ever since we started fighting, and going to war with other nations and our own people, that's when humanity started to go at a decline. Then I saw that Earth was just a small part of the universe. I was shown all these different worlds all at once. It was like looking at a bunch of apartment buildings and each room was a different world/ dimension. I saw worlds where people lived to be 1000's of years old, looked like us and everything was at peace. I saw others with weird looking creatures. I saw another world where the people also looked like us but suffered far more than this world. They lived in an ugly, dirt ridden planet. Then I was told that the only purpose in our lives was to love and share that love, that even simple things like anxiety or depression, although not seeming that bad, are sins. Anxiety, Depression, Jealousy, are all superficial. Just like money and cars, and clothes, etc. I was told I had to stop worrying, and stop being sad and to go out and share my love (sounds kind of corny) and connect more with people. (At the time I was having trouble with socializing and was fighting with family a lot). After I was shown this I ended up in this void. I was my 12 year old self, naked, and just floating around. I remember moaning in a little kid's voice " Don't worry mom, It's ok... I'm ok". Suddenly I woke up in my body with my friends around me looking at me worried. I felt the entity next to me and still felt separated from the physical plane. Now the entity was forceful and It said If I don't tell people I love them he'll take me back and I won't move on (ending up in that same void). Still really out of it, I started screaming at everyone "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU I SWEAR I LOVE EVERYONE HERE" I felt myself coming back to the physical and the entity was gone. I kept repeating the "I love you" until I passed out. The next morning I woke up in my bed, not knowing how I got there. I remember not having a single thought in mind. I even tried thinking and I couldn't. I stared at the ceiling for probably 30 minute before moving my eyes. I still felt disassociated from reality. I looked at my body and felt as if it was superficial. I felt as if I was living in a shell and the only thing that was real was my consciousness which looked through my eyes. (Before this I was obsessed with working out and my body). I looked around and remembering seeing the different worlds, felt as if I was hovering above my body and that even the walls weren't real.

Long story short, It took 2 months to feel as if I was back in reality but even long after that I couldn't do simple things like watch tv, go on my laptop, or even go to class. I was convinced that all those things were superficial and had no purpose. Even school was a waste of time because it's not teaching anything that leads us to fulfilling our destiny (I sound a little crazy now I know). All I wanted to do was tell people I love them and spend time with people. It was a weird feeling. It took 1 week for me to go back to class... 3 weeks to go on my laptop/phone...2 months to listen to music (the lyrics in rap and sounds in pop, EDM, etc made me cringe)...and 8 months to watch tv again.

Sometimes when I walk around now I still feel as if I'm not fully back in my body. I often feel as if there are beings, spirits and entities around me trying to help me. When I walk into a mall or starbucks or large room filled with people, I feel as If I'm floating above them again and that I'm looking down at all the superficial things they care about. Its been really hard doing things I used to love like bodybuilding, or even partying but I think as long as I'm mindful of what's really important I can exist in this world, and both have fun and practice what I learned. Any thoughts about all of this or questions please comment.