When I was little, my parents went through some hard times. I was always a sensitive, quiet kid, so I always took things to heart. Because I'm short and had a high voice, I was picked on a lot.
It continued for years. By the time I turned twelve, the bullying and hardships at home had taken a toll on me. I stopped talking in public.
Sometime that fall, so fall 2010, I was sitting on my couch doing homework, and I dozed off. I began to dream. In the dream, I was standing across from an alley (I dreamed lucidly, here because I knew it was a dream). There was a boy about 15-16 standing in the part of the alley where the shadow meets the light. He beckoned me over so I walked over. At this point I wanted to wake up. I opened my eyes, but it was like he wanted me to see him, so I was still in the vision. He began flirting with me, and he kissed me. When we pulled away, he looked over my shoulder and smirked. I turn to see what he was looking at, and there was a blonde standing at the intersection to another alley. I sensed that the blonde was trying to get to me, but couldn't. He gave me the most disappointed look, and disappeared when a car passed by. The first angel kissed me again and walked away. I caught a glimpse of his wings which were black like his hair.
After the vision ended, I heard singing. The singing was distant, like I heard it in the back of my head. He was constantly singing to me. I wanted to write the songs down, but whenever I attempted to, he stopped singing and it was like there was not any in the first place.
Along with him singing to me, I was unable to sleep through the night and I suffered from nightmares and visions. The nightmare I remember most occurred when I took a nap on our couch. In it, my family and I were on vacation with some friends and their kids. I was the only girl there and every time something went wrong they would abuse me. Try as I might, I couldn't wake up. When I finally woke up, I was curled into a ball. The vision that I rember most happened in church. I was in my room at the time and I had been cutting. I attempted to stop the bleeding but every time one cut closed, another opened. I looked up and there was blood running down the walls with names and words like 'worthless' and 'broken' written in it.
Some time passed. The singing stopped, and with it came the shadow creatures. I have a chaise lounge in my room, and they would stand near the back of it and watch me. They were about four and a half feet tall. When I got my new room, the shadow creatures backed off a bit. The fallen angel came back and I got to see him again. He was sitting behind me with my back to his chest and his arms around my waist. We were flirting and like usual his voice was in the back of my mind. I remember asking to see his wings again but he told me 'no' and kissed my temple and said he loved me. After that, I didn't sense him or hear his singing for about two months, maybe longer.
The shadow creatures came back. My new room is smaller than my previous one and if you're sitting on my bed, about three or four feet away is my chaise. That's where they were standing. At this particular night, it was freaking me out because they had never been that close to me before, and one decided to walk over to my bed and stare at me. By this time, I was in tears. I rolled over onto my right side so my back was to them. I remember pleading with someone, anyone, to come help me. My attention was drawn to my bedroom door. My door had been closed, but when I looked at it, I could see into the hall, and I saw him. It was just his silhouette but it was outlined in an off-white/ivory color. He walked over to me and stroked my hair and wiped away my tears, then walked over to the creatures and spoke to them. After he sent them away, I felt him lie down behind me, in the spooning position, and that's how I fell asleep.
A couple weeks after that I had a dream where I was standing in the rubble of what was my neighborhood. I was going over plans, when a military truck filled with soldiers passed by. He was there and looked at me with a really cold, unnerving gaze. There were still visions and singing, but not as consistent.
I was fifteen, almost sixteen, when that happened. A few weeks ago, I had a dream where these two guys, one brunette and one blonde, were watching me and my friends. My friends freaked out but I told them it was okay. When I woke up, I was in a position that I never sleep in. So if there was a person next to me, my head would've been on their chest. I couldn't move from that position for the remainder of the night. I've had the urge to touch a Ouija board. I've heard a voice in my head telling me to use one to see if I can contact him.
I feel like he's drawing me back to him, and I keep getting this feeling that I should let him in, but I don't know. What do you think?
The boys, Ben and Eragon, have been protective lately. Especially since the appearance of what I've been told is a rogue cupid. Eragon tells me that he's very dangerous.
The boys have also been talking to me in their language. It's a very beautiful language. They know my favorite songs in it. It's very cool.