Throughout the past few years, I've been able to "feel" the vibes of others around me, whether I know them or not, better than ever. It almost scares me. I'm also not the greatest at hiding my aura or what I'm feeling internally.
I've only been in true love once. He was my high school sweetheart, I met him when I was 15 years old. We experienced everything together, first kiss, losing our virginity, each other's first loves, and living together. Our relationship lasted from 2007 - 2012. In the beginning back in 2007, we felt an overwhelming sense of passion for one another. I think we were too young and things just didn't work out, with him running from the relationship. From then until May of 2010 we went our separate ways. We were constantly going back and forth, one day happy with one another, the next dissatisfied. All the while our relationship was kept a secret. In May, we dedicated time to our friendship, built it within one another, and got back together. The love was powerful. I've never felt anything like it. I remember one night in 2010, we were laying down together falling asleep, and as we drifted off into slumber, we suddenly both awoke from feeling each other's heartbeat through the palms of our hands interlocked with one another. We looked at the time and it was 12:24 AM. Anytime he'd wake up in the middle of the night and gaze at me while I was asleep, I'd wake up and just look at him, without him causing me to wake up.
Unfortunately, time went on and our relationship took a turn for the worse. I was immature and couldn't handle the magnitude of the relationship, although I loved him immensely. I was also in search of my role in life individually. He needed to the do the same for himself. We couldn't find our callings together... So we separated. Again. The outcome of our breakup was horrific. Disastrous. To the point that we have not spoke to one another since June of 2012, refuse to look at one another on social media sites, and he cringes at the thought of me or hearing my name.
He's in a different relationship known to date, in love with her, living a completely different life from her. I've gone onto college, almost completing my degrees, and have a wonderful opportunity to intern for a fortune 500 fashion icon of a company. I haven't feel the same spark for anyone since him.
In the beginning of our break up, I'd dream of him constantly. I thought it was common to happen because we had just experienced our separation and it was still fresh in my life.
As time has gone on, the ache feeling I have in my heart for him has subsided, I've learned how to live for myself and I've learned how to pursue happiness on my own. From time to time, like once in a blue moon he'd pop up in my dreams. The last time I dreamed of him was in 2013, before I started at my university. Of course I still think about him, but the overwhelming rush of feelings that I once had whenever I'd think about him when we initially broke up through the first year and a half, is gone.
Recently in 2015, in a series of dreams that have spanned across a week and a half to 2 weeks, I've been seeing him again. The first dream, we were together and traveled somewhere, and ended up being stuck in some sort of colony. There, we weren't allowed to be in the same room with one another, but we'd text via smart phone and we'd be in love with one another. However, I can't remember what we had said to one another. I could just feel the love. In the second dream, I traveled to San Francisco, where he was. This time, we were allowed to be with one another, but not alone in a room. We were face to face and we were happy. No text messages needed. We were laughing and joking around, he'd mess with me and make me whine like I used to. Once again, nothing was said between us. I could just feel the love and happiness again. The third and final dream, we were in a house, somewhere in a dream state, this time we were able to be alone, in a room with the doors shut. We just cuddled and held one another. Once again nothing was said between each of us. I just felt insanely happy and in love. The dream ended when we got in someones car and drove off and I woke up.
It's driven me up the wall in the past week. I read somewhere online that with telepathic love, I have the say so to shut my mind and heart off to him and make him stop entering my dream. I told myself to do so a few nights ago. The next morning I woke up and felt really tired and don't remember dreaming anything. He hasn't been back since.
Am I crazy or is there something going on?
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If its not alright, its not the end.
Best wishes,
Silver