I would be lying if I said I was ever empathetic. I never felt what others felt, and I was terrible at guessing. My "gifts" never started- they just were. When I was young I was almost completely stuck in my own world. I enjoyed thinking, and sometimes I would lie in the middle of the floor and stare at the ceiling and think for hours. My childhood was a strange place. At night I would never sleep. As I lay there awake I would hear voices that seemed to be coming from the distance. When it first happened, I would get up and look around the house, but at that time of night everyone was asleep. I could never quite tell what the voices were saying, and they never talked to me specifically. It was more like what you would hear if a person was talking to themselves. The voices never alarmed me, they were just something that happened. Most of the time I didn't sleep because of the dreams I had-they were terrible, I won't describe them. Almost every night I would go to my parent's room and tell my mom that there was a spider in my room-there wasn't one, I just had a bad dream and was lying so she would tuck me back into bed. One night there actually was a spider. It was dangling down from the ceiling, it was black, it about the size of my hand, and it had red eyes. I got out of my bed and ran to my mom's room to tell her that there actually was a spider this time, and it was huge. We went to my room, looked in, and there was nothing. Later I got the sense that it was just something making fun of me.
The other childhood experience I had happened in a gym. My mom had signed me up for gymnastics, so I went there for a class every now and then. The class only used half of the gym, the other half was dark. Almost every time I went I would see someone on the darker side of the gym. It was a girl who looked to be about 17. There was never anyone or anything with her, I never saw her come or leave (although she would disappear sometimes). She was always moving around on the balance beam, I never saw her rest, and she never noticed us. She was all white. One time I walked halfway over to ask who she was, but then got scared and went back towards the others- she didn't take any notice of me going towards her. One day I asked one of the people at the gym who she was- they didn't know who I was talking about- they had never seen her.
When I got older, around elementary school, I stopped seeing things. Late middle school it started back up again. It's progressively gotten stronger since then. A few weeks ago I was sitting in a crowded library with my friends, when out of the corner of my eye I suddenly saw a person sitting in the empty chair at my table. There was a feather on the table, and she bent down, and blew it at my face. Then she looked at me and smiled, then disappeared along with the feather. This all happened quickly, it only lasted for a second or two, as they always do. Before that, I was sitting at a table in my room at home doing homework and my cat was with me. My cat suddenly seemed to get upset, and it moved to sit under my chair. It was staring at some point across the room. I looked over where my cat was looking and saw a little black shape turning the corner to leave the room I was in. For a minute I thought nothing of it; I thought "Oh, it's just the other cat," but then I realized I don't have another cat.
The last experience happened last night. I woke up and I saw someone standing next to my bed. I saw the white torso of a boy of about 19 or 20- I didn't look up to see his face. Having just woke up, I didn't realize what he was, so I smiled, sat up a little and reached out towards him. I blinked once-still there. Twice- still there. A third time- gone. It was then that I realized what he was, so I sat up like a shot with my heart pounding. I asked myself if I felt threatened by him, and I didn't, so I went back to sleep. He was the ghost that's been living with me for the past two years, and it was the first time I saw him.
I've tried to find rational explanations for everything I've seen. I've read about hallucinations that occur when you wake up- but that only seems to happen during paralysis- and I've never had an instance where I've woken up and couldn't move. Sometimes I've just told myself that I'm imagining things, but there's still the doubt because of the certainty I feel when I see what I see. I hate just knowing something has happened without evidence, but knowing is knowing. I can't communicate with the things I see or choose what I see, and I've never considered myself to be a psychic or medium, but my experiences are still there. They're just an added piece to a collection of odd experiences from others.
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