The Uncertainty

To start off my story I'll begin with the uncertainty of why I always felt out of place. I was 9 and going threw a lot in my life. I had home life problems and I was sickly. I moved in with my grandmother at this age because of all the stress. I was drained, depressed, and felt alone. It wasn't until I was 10 I started noticing things. My closet door wouldn't stay shut or I would hear someone walking threw my house (when know one was there). I confronted my grandmother about it and she told me they where gental souls. After a long talk I started to realize that when I would go places (peoples houses or stores or historic sites) I would either A. Feel completely fine or B. Get a gut punch. As I call it. Like a wall will hit me and my hair on my body will stand up. Most times a panic attack will come soon after. Then I found out looking threw old pictures I seen someone I had never met before. I went to my grandmother and told her who this lady was and asked where she went... My granny wray died 13 years before I was born. I was told that as a very young girl I played with her a lot. Well that was conlmforting:). It truly was because all the things that where happening in my room " where I felt safe" was her. I am 23 now and suffer from what everyone calls depression. My tyriod is off and I have a feeling of emptyness I can't explain. I came across a few months ago a reading of being a empathy. The more I researched the more I felt complete. (I am a cna and I love and understand people in need. I'm compelled to help them) the more I focus on my ability to just look at someone and pick up on if they are lieing, hurt, angry, happy is amazing to me. I'm exhausted all the time but this is new to me and I'm now trying to learn when to block it. Finding this site today I feel even more complete because now I know I'm not alone