Something Else Is My Head

I live in a small town. Not too much happens here. Kids playing, Teens smoking, My name is Kacie. I am 17 years old.

I've stayed in the same school district for the last 11 years.

I've loved and I've lost. But I have always felt something different. Sometimes when I close my eyes and rest my mind. I feel almost a feeling build up in my chest. Then it travels to my forehead. My eyes grow heavy; it's almost In between my eyebrows. To the edges of my eyes. When I get like this, I have so much soul. So much love and passion. Music then becomes my let out. Like the song stay with me by Sam smith. I can focus it and it's almost a complete out of body experience. But it's in my body. I can feel it as a separate way of looking out onto the world. Looking at the moon or being in the woods are vary attractive during these times. Not sexually. But a strong connection and love. These items amplify my energy. It has its own pulse, like every other second it bumps and it travels. The more I focus on it, the stronger the beat. I become very emotional during this time to.

One evening my neighbors had a pig roasting night and I was there laughing enjoying myself when an older gentlemen walks through the gate. As I watched him the urge to talk to him was almost overwhelming. All I could think about. I felt a strong energy and let me tell u, a feeling that I will never forget. It made me cry how strong. I just felt like I could trust him. A beyond good vibe. Like I just had to talk to this man. I don't know how else to describe it really. I feel as though I think different outlook from normal people. Like there's just something in my brain is just completely different. The chemicals aren't right. I feel like I am a different species. More connected to self then anyone. I stay to myself a lot. And I think. And think... And think some more.

I wish I knew what was up, what I am experiencing. I am obsessed with the big question. (WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE)? And when I think about my soul when I die I feel something strange. Like a chest pulling sensation.

Am I the only one like this?