I'm 24 years old, and I've been through a lot of weird stuff that I can't understand. When I was a kid something was done to me, probably around 6 or 7, I had a recurring nightmare with a woman and a lot of freaky stuff started happening around that time, I honestly don't remember at all, everything I'm telling you is because of my parents, the thing is that the nightmares lasted for a couple of years on certain days of the week, so they thought someone was doing witchcraft because of the pattern that they saw, they called a local priest to cleanse the house and to sort of exorcise me I guess, I honestly don't know since my parents didn't want to tell me more about it and I don't remember anything from that time/ For a while after that, all the weird stuff that was happening around the house stopped as well as the nightmares. Now as far I remember weird things have always happened to me, I honestly can't recall a time where I felt "normal", I never really told anyone because I was afraid.
I feel the presence of things that are not there like spirits, I sometimes can feel what other people are feeling and I don't like it. Night is my least favorite time of the day because of the dreams I have, it honestly scares me because I dream of stuff that happens the next day or a couple of days after. The only time I feel at peace is when I'm outside, alone, surrounded only by nature. When I'm in a crowd I feel overwhelmed.
There's also a part of me that takes hold once in a while and wants nothing but the destruction of everything, which scares me, I envision natural disasters happening, catastrophes, I don't like it, it's like inside me there are two sides who are at constant war, one wants to destroy, the other wants to save. I never really told this to anyone because they would think I'm crazy. And maybe I am, I don't know. All I want to know is if there's a possibility I could be cursed? I probably have a gift I wasn't meant to have, and that constant struggle I go through is not normal. If anyone has seen a similar case please help.
Its like i'm torn in half.
I talk to myself, I sense more than see spirits-You aren't alone.
The nightmares never really had a pattern, in my case, far as I remember.
It seems like no matter what I do i'm torn in half. Sage and salt doesn't help anymore, all that part of me wants is control. I have moments, and I feel like its stable for now. I only hope that everyone is okay, and that keeps me going. I know how I used to think... I don't want that on my family again. I've recalled a lot of memories since christmas break...
Let me know how you're holding up,
-Silver