Throughout my entire life, I've always been a bit off compared to everyone else. I had a close knit of friends, and I never really meshed with my family. I was accepted, but sort of the way a family would take on a random child. I was always just sort of there.
One of the first experiences I can consciously remember was also one of the most powerful. I can't recall what I was doing, but I was in my house and out of nowhere it started to get louder and louder, a sort of low rumbling. From this, everything started getting brighter and brighter, as well as get hotter and hotter. I honestly thought a nuclear weapon had gone off near my and I was going to die. I was mentally preparing when I ran into the other room where my girlfriend of the time was sleep. I yelled at her "what the hell is going on?" and as a few moments passed the sensations just evaporated. She didn't react in a crazy manner, she just said 'what?' nonchalantly and I walked out of the room, I had been shaken pretty hard.
Before this though, I had always been to have a little bit of a hint on what people were feeling. It was more of a feeling I'd get myself, and until recently, I had no clue what it was. It sounds crazy, but more and more these feelings have been turning out to be true. Verified by other people.
Among these people are two of my friends. They are together and have a child, and again, until recently, everything was above the water with them. It was like most other friends I'd had, I couldn't feel anything other than myself when I was with them, and I loved it.
One morning, I went to my friends house after work. He hadn't gotten off yet so me and his girl who was my friend as well went upstairs, and out of no where, these huge emotions started getting thrown at me. I'd had a few of these before, so I knew exactly what was going on and was so taken off guard. I didn't do anything, but from that point on I've been able to feel a connection to her. Strange thing is, it's almost like her boyfriend knows this connection is there now. I've thought about doing it, but it just doesn't feel right.
Her boyfriend is a different manner. I feel as if he has put himself in my mind in a different way than she has. Even now it's hard to write those experiences, like they are torn to shreds in my mind. I will hear/feel commands, as if I am in a trance, and I can't escape it. Yeah, wow, I can remember that these have taken place, but I can't seem to recall much of them right now.
Just one more for now, I had an experience with LSD with a friend I'd known since middle school. Everything was just bright lights and breathing walls until about half way through, when some of his friends came by. We all talked and chilled for a bit, then from nowhere, I got a huge ping of anger and rage. I knew where it had come from, and I looked at my friend and he was glaring at me. From that point on, I could feel most if not all of his emotions the entire night. Many of them terrifying. It felt as if our consciousness both occupied the same space, and a thought heard by me was a thought heard by him as well. I then sat in the same position in a chair for ten hours straight until the feelings stopped.
I can remember these memories much easier than the others, and the things I saw in his mind scare the shiat out of me to this day. I heard voices that weren't there, but I wasn't hearing them, he was, and he was responding to them. Obviously, this could have just been the acid, but it felt like any other encounter I'd had before.
It feels like I'm have a heart attack just thinking about it...
Thoughts and comments are welcome. I'll discuss.
I'm 23.
Words work well for communicating ideas, but no word can describe how those pieces make you feel. Music communicates emotion.