My Rock

I have been having this reoccurring dream about being in a car accident for about two weeks straight. In the dream I was driving through an intersection and would be cut off by another car. Also, in the dream one of my children was in the car with me and I got so scared because they were crying and I couldn't get to them.

Well, it happened. Last Tuesday I was cut off by an 87 year old lady and I T-boned her going 45mph. My baby girl (8 months old) was in the car with me. The frame to my car was so bent that I couldn't get the door open. This lawn maintenance guy came and yanked while I pushed. We finally got it open. The 87 year old woman was able to get out of her car with no assistance or injuries and my baby was fine, not a scratch. She was crying because she got scared out of a nap.

When it happened I was pretty dazed. With the speed I was going the car still had a lot of momentum after the collision. I heard a mans voice tell me (yell at me) to brake and snap out of it, your going to be ok. Now, what I find interesting about this is the lawn guy wasn't any where near me. And he only spoke Spanish.

In the crash I broke my hand and needed surgery. It broke in four places, in order to repair it I have gotten three pins. But to get to the point of this story. The same man's voice came to me as they were putting me under. Only this time I saw his face and he was telling me "its ok, I'll be with you the whole time. Just let go. It'll be ok." And he just kept saying this. I just felt so relaxed and safe. Usually I make a better caregiver than a patient. In situations like this I tend to panic.

This man I have seen and heard before. When I was 13 years old, I was attacked by a pit bull. The voice said to me "get into a ball and cover your face." The dog was going for my face and neck, but because of this all the dog got was my arm and breast. Then at the hospital I started to loose consciousness, but he kept yelling "hold on." I was able to hold on long enough to tell the x-ray tech my symptoms. "I can't hear, I can't see, I feel so tired, help me." As I started to fall they caught me. And the whole time he was telling me "to hold on don't let go." I went into cardiac arrest.

I'm not sure what to call this man but whenever I'm in need, he is my rock. Maybe someone can help me understand this better.